You Played Yourself pt.4: Too Good To Be True

Parked in front of the desk tinkering around on the Internet,
That work-related spreadsheet minimized, mindless surfing’s therapy for the mind,
Five minutes later playtime was over, but a little something caught you at the last minute,
There it was, flashing across the screen, bright colors surrounding huge block letters,
A feast for the eyes and primal urges they were offering, and it was free to boot,
For the first month, anyway, ‘twas too good to be true,
Jumped on it like a hungry lion, all manner of reason and common sense thrown away,
Locked the door ‘lest the missus found out, now it’s time for serious play,
‘Credit card details, please,’ that free offer won’t be forever,
‘No problem,’ says you, ‘I’ll be out before they ask for my dollars.’

Bodies grinding and sweating for your viewing pleasure, time seemed to stand still,
Eyes fixed on the screen, seemed an eternity since you last blinked,
Feeling like a teen again watching filth on the sly,
Worth the transaction, though, a break from day to day life,
One month went by in a blur, sixty minutes of ecstacy per day,
A quick dopamine fix guaranteed to keep the doctor away,
In and out your den of iniquity, the missus and the kids none the wiser,
But you’re setting yourself up for a haymaker right on the kisser,

D-Day finally arrived, gotta part ways with that free membership,
It’s been a wild ride, but time to move on, it’ll surely be missed,
Logged into the website, reluctance setting in, unaware that things are about to go to shit.
Looks like you ain’t getting off easy, should have read the fine print,
You gave ‘em your credit card details, too, now you’re in for it,
One month is up, now you gotta start paying, been living in sin now time to take penance,
That’s money out the bank, you thought it would be one month of free wanks,
Now you’re on the phone crying, demanding to get that money back,
Costs money to make calls overseas, though, and they’ve left you hanging,
Left out in the cold with no shelter while that money keeps draining,
Only a matter of time before strange shit shows up in those credit card statements,
No amount of explaining and grovelling will minimize the damage,
Cancellation’s impossible, gotta ‘fess up to your missus,
Call your in-laws for assistance, their background in I.T’s good for this,
So much for that secret mission, thought you’d get out unscathed,
But there’s always a catch, Friend, look in the mirror if you want someone to blame,
Now your missus is pissed at you, you should have known better,
Your kids are laughing at you, their respect for you temporarily shattered,
Thought with your dick rather than that brain, immaturity reigns even at the cusp of middle age,
Always keep that guard up, you had to learn the hard way,
You played yourself.

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