Regulate: Dear Nice Guy

Dear Nice Guy,
Once again you’re coming home empty handed,
Still flying solo, the position of co-pilot remains vacant,                          
Dressed to impress, maybe overdid it, it’s a Saturday night though, so no shits given,
Headed out several hours prior, expecting to hit a homer,
‘I’m a nice guy,’ says you, ‘the type that girls should be fawnin’ over,’
‘I ain’t a jerk like the others, I’ll treat her nice and proper,”
“Yes sir, I’ll be getting some later,”
Cute story, Bro, but your history suggests otherwise, that list of lovers sits at zero, you’re just one of those guys,
The ones that girls hate because your approach is so fake,
You lock onto a potential target, sell yourself like a sleazy preacher with that nice guy role you’re overplaying, but the night would end with your crash-landing,
See, you played nice just to get into her pants, proved to be another snake in the grass, no wonder she dumped your stupid ass,
Now you’re home, sitting on the couch and drowning your sorrows, before washing off the humiliation then crawling off to bed alone.

Day after day you wonder why no woman’s checking for ya,
Couples all around and you’re Nigel sulking in the corner,
Hate to break it to ya but it’s not that females are flaky and complicated, they ain’t swerving good guys for jerks and degenerates, they’re lies you cling to for self-preservation,
Look in the mirror to get to the root of the problem, yeah it’s you, Bro, quit blaming the others,
Think back to every interaction with ‘em, each and every woman,
You play white knight, damn near all-out simpin’, promisin’ her the world and everything in it,
Then when she decides to take her chances you go right for the jugular, demand she put out ‘cuz nice guys deserve rewarding,
That’s some creepy shit, Bro, you call yourself a gentleman? Now you’re applying force and coercion, way to cross over to criminal,
Imagine if the tables were turned, think you can stomach it?
What if she had her sweet-as-sugar front on but in reality was milking and leading you on?
What if she made you feel like a million bucks only to use you for a few fucks?
Bet it would hurt like shingles, how do you like them apples?
You could’ve retained some dignity, ironically, if you’d admitted to just wanting to get freaky,
You turned out to be the jerk among men with your hidden motives and ultimatums,
Those so-called ‘bad boys’ are winnin’ cuz they’re all about their business,
Giving no fucks about opinions, defying fear and nerves and just going for it,
No signs of insecurities and trepidation when it comes to meeting women, being honest with ‘em and laying all on the table,
Victory or defeat doesn’t matter to ‘em, they win or grow from the experience,
They’re clear on what they’re after, not ambushing like some fuckin’ predator,
That’s confidence and balls, dude, that’s what real ones do,
Take a leaf from out their playbook, what have you to lose?
Drop that fake persona and hidden agenda, be genuine and see what happens,
Spare her your life story but be upfront with your intentions,
Whether it’s a relationship you covet, the old hit it and quit it or just something casual,
Be out with it, Bro, you’ll earn points for being honest,
And if you fall short don’t kick up a fuss over it,
Don’t beg and plead or get mad at her, she’s entitled to her preferences,
You’ll do yourself no favors in a world where bad deeds and attitudes go reported,
Realize you’re not for everyone, don’t waste time bitching about it, rise above that rejection, just keep on moving forward,
Work on yourself daily, level up to boost your chances,
Self-improvement begets self-confidence, you’ll never play the fraud again,
Fortune favors the bold, Brother, the dating game’s no different,
Honesty is the best policy, heed the words of Billy and tell her about it.

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