Pope Benny, Rest In Peace,

Anita Pointer and Fred Brown,

Meanwhile, up in Queensland, that chopper done crashed down,

Damar Hamlin’s heart attack, Israel reformed judiciary,

Prince Harry’s book leaked, further trashing on his family,

Meg and Harry interview, one big trainwreck as predicted,

Ash Barty pregnant, still thriving in retirement,

Indonesian earthquake, Darwin folks done felt it,

The passing of Australia’s most hated, that would be Cardinal Pell,

Jeff Beck passed away, Dom and that Nazi costume,

R.I.P, Lisa Marie, in Nepal that plane done met its doom,

Kyrgios fallin’ at the Open, as did that guy Rafa,

Renee Geyer and Jim Molan, iconic Aussies met their maker,

Velma is a ratings bomb, Alec Baldwin slapped with manslaughter,

Michael Clarke’s lady dramas, Jacinda Ardern is a goner,

Peter Bol and Kurtley Beale, two different accusations,

Lunar New Year shootings in L.A, more gun crime in the USA,

Tara Brumfitt Australia’s best, Novak’s daddy and that Russian flag,

Shooting in Jerusalem, riots out for Tyree Nichols.

Alec Baldwin fighting charges, back home inflation slowing,

For how long, can’t be certain, nothing lasts forever,

Tom Brady hit retirement, Cardinal Pell’s funeral,

Nick Kyrgios’ guilty plea, charges dropped following the true story,

Turkey, Syria and the earthquake, the NBA’s highest-scorer Lebron James,

Storms and floods in Sydney, battering towns a’plenty,

Burt Bacharach and Raquel Welch, both gone up into the sky,

Chiefs win the Superbowl, flying objects causin’ panic,

Schoolbus tragedy in Victoria, earthquake and floods in New Zealand,

Oil spill in Ohio, back home rising interest rates,

Drugs scandal at Collingwood, Biden visits Ukraine,

Harry, Megan, South Park, fuckin’ hell, what a laugh!

Public memorial for ONJ, Rajwinder Singh charged with murder,

Meg and Harry sent packing, played themselves royally,

Ed Sheeran, Harry Styles and BSB in Australia,

Alex Murdaugh gets life in prison, Sydney trains halted,

Hillsong Church in strife again, in NSW the heatwaves roaring,

Albo is in India, elections looming across the states,

AUKUS deal great success, in New Zealand another earthquake,

Brendan Fraser, Michelle Yeoh, EEAAO and the Oscars

Heatwave on the east coast, Blake Johnston’s surfing record,

Arrest warrant out for Putin, also one for Donnie Trump,

John Sattler passed away, Putin and Xi Jinping in Moscow,

School teachers under attack, trans activists in TAS, VIC and NSW,

Earthquake in Afghanistan, further protests in Paris,

Court date for Gwyneth Paltrow, NSW elections,

The Obamas in Australia, in Israel they’re rioting,

School shooting in the USA, Peter Bol finally cleared,

Gwyneth’s case is ending, Donnie’s is just beginning.

Andrew Tate released from prison, the scammer still has followers,

Tik Tok banned for politicians, they should scrap it altogether,

Finland has a new leader, joined NATO while they’re at it,

Malka Leifer guilty, The Hayne Plane crashing, finally,

Donald Trump arrested, jail awaits for Terrence Kelly,

Adesanya beats Pereira, dead body found on Easter,

Dalai Lama is in deep shit, turned out he just loves the kids,

Shootings in Kentucky, back home aged care’s in a crisis,

Ilsa smacks the west coast, Steven Tougher sadly murdered,

Lidia Thorpe being a fool again, self-destructive and attention-seeking,

Birthday shooting in Alabama, Ralph Yarl and Kaylin Gillis,

Shooters suspected trespassing, how the fuck did it come to this?

SpaceX launch explosion, back home Optus class action,

Alec Baldwin cleared of charges, Barry Humphries sadly passing,

Dean Holland killed on track, Jerry Springer meets his maker,

Kyle Sandilands’ wedding, soccer brawl in Western Sydney,

Drunk Aussies in Indonesia, should have kept ‘em behind the slammer,

Jock Zonfrillo passing on, will Masterchef still be rolling on?

Qantas has a new CEO, Alan Joyce went out sad,

Security scare at Buckingham, threats from a madman,

Interest rates on the rise again, drone attack over Moscow,

School shooting in Serbia, pay rise for aged care workers,

Coronation of King Charles, despite all the family dramas,

Jenny Craig in trouble, Telstra outage was a bummer,

Winter blast on the east coast, early taste of frost and snow,

The NSW budget, Imran Khan arrested,

Trump guilty of sexual abuse, he’s out here calling ‘fake news’,

Tram tragedy in Sydney, hostel fire in New Zealand,

School bus crash in Victoria, Biden bails on Australia,

Meg and Harry’s fake pursuit, Rafa crashes out of Roland Garros,

Claire Nowland tased by cops, now her family’s pissed off,

Albo, Biden, Zelenskyy at the G7, Space X crew finally launching,

Modi in Australia, Kristian White charged for tasing,

Claire Nowland passed away, as did Tina Turner,

School shooting over in Perth, in Surry Hills a building burning,

Security scare at Downing Street, damn these pests and pricks,

Earthquake in Victoria, for Danny Andrews might be karma,

Mark McGowan resigns as premier, got too hot in the kitchen.

Ben Roberts-Smith lost his case, Bruce Lehrman interview,

Dylan Brown charged with rape, Kathleen Folbigg released from jail,

Prince Harry and the press, a never-ending battle raging on,

Scott White gets 9 years, wedding bus crash at the Hunter,

David Van in trouble, shouldn’t have been a pervert,

Boris Johnson banned for life, liar liar pants on fire,

OceanGate tragedy, all occupants crushed to jelly,

Wagner Coup in Russia, the leader died by plane crash,

Simon Crean passed away, Gladys found guilty of corruption,

Rioting in Paris, Pensions and Nahel Merzouk.

Wests Tigers lost 74-0, Australia, England and The Ashes,

King Charles, King of Scots, back home Robodebt fallout,

Sound Of Freedom making waves, why the media want to censor it?

Dr. Teo found guilty, desperate patients the casualties,

Hollywood goes on strike, RBA boss got the sack,

Alcaraz beats Djokovic, Melbourne dumps the Comm. Games,

Women’s FIFA World Cup, Matildas becoming breakout stars,

Auckland CBD shooting, Tony Bennett’s passing,

Heatwave hitting Europe, fires burning in Greece,

Barbie and Oppenheimer, back in Sydney gang wars,

Death of Sinead O’Connor, loss of a rebel and icon,

Taipan chopper crash, tragic deaths meant discontinuation.

Sun bear controversy in China, is it some dude in a costume?

Trudeaus go their separate ways, ‘guess that it was too good to be true,

Trump headed off to trial, China lifts tariffs on barley,

The Voice quickly losing ground, bully tactics only go so far,

Fires burning in Hawaii, The Matildas they done beat the French,

Threats on Malaysian airlines, controversy shrouds The Blind Side,

Matildas lose to England, R.I.P to Michael Parkinson,

Spain wins The World Cup, shame about all the kissing,

Storms hitting California while Canada is burning,

Indian moon landing, Greek surrogate controversy,

Progozhin killed in a plane crash, was it an accident or set-up?

Trump turns himself in, US aircraft crash in Darwin,

Qantas is in deep shit, for Alan Joyce a fitting ending,

In Florida a hurricane, every year seems to happen.

Burning Man disaster, shit got a little muddy,

Qantas under new management, Alan splitting in a hurry,

Floods in Hong Kong and Europe, earthquake in Morocco,

Qantas hit with a big fine, an icon sadly lost its shine,

Danny Masterson sent to prison, divorce papers for the Jackmans,

Russell Brand accused of rape, still awaiting that court date,

Earthquake in New Zealand, covid lockdown investigations,

Ingham workers went on strike, Rupert Murdoch steps aside,

Resignation of Danny Andrews, Jacinta Allen sworn in,

Duane Davis charged with murder, was he really 2Pac’s killer?

Panthers and the three-peat, interest rates stay on hold,

Sydney sizzling in this heat, summer yet to unfold,

Kevin McCarthy fired while Hamas fires at Israel,

Will they ever squash the beef? Will there be peace in the Middle East?

Cheng Lei comes home, Australia resoundingly votes ‘NO’,

Britney Spears’ memoirs, Albanese in the USA,

Murder of Lillie James, death of Matthew Perry,

Bushfire season starting early, please don’t repeat early 2020.

War in the Middle East, mass calls for a cease fire,

RBA raises rates, Erin Patterson goes to trial,

Without A Fight wins the Melbourne Cup, Optus nationwide blackout,

Good luck to the CEO, how do you explain the fallout?

Hollywood strike is over, pending volcanic eruption in Iceland,

Detainees released to the public, despite criminal records horrifying,

One by one they’re re-offending, what the fuck were y’all thinking!?

Kelly Bayer Rosmarin resigns, Australia retains The Ashes,

Earthquake in Iceland, Space X rocket failing,

Ceasefire in Gaza, ain’t nothing permanent,

Hostages released but this shit ain’t over yet,

Bus explosion near Niagara Falls, Bruce Lehrmann defamation case,

Rozelle interchange, for motorists a pounding headache,

Ceasefire in Gaza extended, mine rescue in India,

Death of Henry Kissinger, hero or villain you decide.

Gaza ceasefire over, rockets once again exploding,

Peace talks go nowhere, the beef will likely last forever,

Earthquake strikes the Philippines and Indonesia, terrorist attack in the former,

Back home inflation hitting families, will Christmas still be merry?

Donald Day arrested, connections to the Wiembilla shooting,

Former detainees re-offending, calls for Claire O’Neill’s sacking,

Australian students down bad, Britt and Bruce throwing down,

Climate change activists, once again serial pests,

Annastacia Palaszczuk walks away, Steven Miles promoted,

Alan Jones slapped with charges, Kevin Spacey incarnate,

Cyclone Jasper making landfall, Queensland ‘bout to fucking cop it,

NRL hits Vegas, I wonder if they’ll like us?

James Ruse unseated, North Sydney Boys the HSC champs,

Heatwave striking Sydney, Lisa Wilkinson takes the stand,

Ukraine grenade incident, sure was weird and explosive,

In Westfield Penrith a sudden fire, the IDF, friendly fire,

Floods in Queensland terrorising, Westpac and St George online crashing,

Murder in Canberra Zoo, Penrith ‘beach’ opening,

Summer heat got bushfires blazing, El Nino truly mad and steaming,

Pope Francis greenlights same-sex blessings,

Storms on the east coast, Christmas sure was a wild one,

Weeks of scorchers led to this, Mother Nature sure is a funny one,

More pain in the Ukraine, will they ever know peace again?

Speak of which, still no peace in the Middle East, can we still say ‘Happy New Year?’

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