Arrived an hour early, they got me signing papers
Before escorting me to that weird-looking chamber,
Strapped me up then dimmed down the lights,
‘Gonna be noisy in there’, they warned, ‘keep those earplugs tight,’
Then I was off, slowly but surely, before coming to a stop,
That’s when the symphony began, a cacophony of crackles and pop.
Nothing drastic at first, just an initial buzzing,
Before developing into the sound of a chainsaw revving,
Felt the vibrations from head to toe before I heard machine gun fire,
Followed by an eerie bass, the type that went on for a while.
Then a brief respite, heard George Michael on the radio,
Before the orchestra of sound resumed with zeal and gusto,
The bass was up first, sounded like the music from Jaws,
Soon accompanied by a beat that I felt from my head to my feet.
The time ticked by, my body felt empty,
Forced to lie still like a dead soldier, God this itchy nose is killing me,
Surely an innocent scratch won’t harm the outcome?
To hell with it, a man can only put up with such irritation,
The guns went off once more, like a military salute,
Felt like I was on the set of Full Metal Jacket, running, hiding and dodging bullets,
Then the beeping started, here comes a new sound,
Must be an alien invasion, I come in peace, let me show y’all around.
Another brief respite, the earplugs run deep,
What’s that they playin’ on the radio? No time, here comes another beep,
Followed by that damn chainsaw once again,
How long does it take to cut down a tree, man!?
And then the horror theme resumed once more with a stronger beat,
Tried to fuse some rhymes for an impromptu freestyle, but can’t do much while strapped like a captive crocodile,
The bass goes on and on and on some more,
This shit becoming boring now and my legs are getting sore.
Another alien invasion followed by weird drum beats,
Then that chainsaw revs up again, God dammit CUT DOWN THAT TREE!!!!
Silence follows abruptly, a strange voice speaks to me,
“Doctor ordered an injection,” gotta see my insides more clearly,
Wheeled out briefly, felt the sting of a needle,
Followed by some cool liquid flowing through my veins, fifteen minutes more before I’m done with this game.
Wheeled back in before the gun shots rang out,
By now they’ve taken on the sound of helicopter blades spinning out,
Thankfully no more chainsaw but the horror theme is back,
Sportin’ a harder beat, this remix is fire even though a little whack,
Almost an hour now, lying motionless and strapped,
I’ve now lost most of the feeling from my back,
Soldier on, Boy, the end is in sight,
Block out the sounds, your ears are still alright,
Then it’s all over, I see the light once more,
The nurse frees me from my spot, wow my head is sore!
“Gather your things and take this form to the front desk,” she requested,
“Thank you and will do,” and with that I head out to the receptionist.