You Played Yourself 9: Celebrity Interview

This is it, another turkey ready for bastin’ and roastin’,

Dream jobs in the scrapheap thanks to L’s of the self-inflicted variety,

Losing your gig ‘cuz of leaked dick picks nothing short of idiotic,

But let’s take a look at one poor fool who only had one job to do,

Sent up north for an interview, an exclusive, too, for good measure,

The envy of your peers and rivals, scored a win for your beloved Network,

She’s the hottest star in world of pop music, but don’t call her a comeback queen,

Been around for years, recharged her batteries before returning to the scene,

So off you went, hopped on the plane, travelled to an opposing timezone,

Touched down ready to rumble, got yourself comfortable,

Then the interview started, here’s your moment, go out there and get it,

But just like that it was mission failure, a glaring omission brought about your undoing,

Admitted to her you didn’t listen to her album, of course she was gonna be offended,

How you gonna rock up to a professional setting woefully under-prepped for it?

Just like that she’s storming out the room, ain’t nothing you can do about it,

Your golden moment crashed and burned like the Hindenburg, no excuses can soften it,

Gob off all you want ‘bout missed e-mails, ain’t nobody buying that shit,

You done played around IG during that special assignment, surely the real pros would’ve checked their e-mails for anything last-minute,

At the very least you’d gather background info of your subject, immerse yourself in their latest projects,

You’ve been on the job long enough, your lame excuses don’t carry much water,

It’s a long trip back down under, prepare to face the music,

Enjoy that two-week suspension, your dumb ass surely has earned it,

Take the L on the chin, Bro, it’s the least you can do to salvage that rep,

But while you’re at it hang your head down in shame, Dude you played yourself!

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