You Played Yourself pt. 3: Caught Out

Took the kid for a walk, a five-year old bundle of energy,

Everyday wondering where the time’s gone, she’s growing up fast already,

Working from home most days to bond with her, these formative years are precious,

More so than wads of cash and priceless diamonds, better enjoy her now before suitors come ‘round knockin’,

Took her to the park before a text message from the missus changed y’alls itinerary,

“Can you run down to the shops?” you complied and replied with a “yes, sure, Honey.”

Hopped in the car and drove down to the nearest shopping center, detoured to the nearest newsagency to take a gander,

Just for five minutes, tops, before carrying out the mission,

The little one set off running, beelined to where they stacked colored puzzle books and comics,

You hung back and checked out mags featuring cars and sports and what’s printed on today’s papers,

Peeped over towards her, gotta keep her within your field of vision,

Ruffled her hair as you passed her, allowed her to continue perusing,

While you slinked over the other side, the shelf that featured subjects that were forbidden,

That’s secret men’s business, the type that featured titles with near-naked chicks on the cover,

Tried to keep it discreet but your moment of perving’s ‘bout to be shattered,

The little one wonders over wide-eyed as to what you’ve been ogling,

“Daddy why are you looking at dirty magazines!?” she screeched,

Good lucky tryin’a convince her that a man’s got needs,

Folks within earshot are eyeing you like you tripped the lunk alarm at Planet Fitness,

Some are snickering while you’re blushing, no smooth path to get away from all this,

There’s a time for everything, Bruh, that’s what Ecclesiastes and the Byrds were on about,

Can’t do that shit while kids are present, congrats you done got caught out,

You walk out of there with her to the sound of muffled laughter, you should have known better,

Bowin’ to temptation’s a sign of weakness, fool, ya played yourself!

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