Been carrying this load now, weighed down for the longest\ntime,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Shoulders slouched and knees tired, could\u2019ve been a strong\nman but feeling just about fried,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twin tormentors jockeying for position but equally loud and\ndestructive,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Got your man running from one end of the proverbial spectrum\nright to the other,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sights set on a particular path, planning and plotting to\nmake it happen,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The outcome still uncertain but intuition dictates it\u2019ll be\nworth it,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just don\u2019t tell that to the parents, loved ones too for that\nmatter,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The script was written for me years ago, veering from it\ndeemed acts of rebellion,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Standards and expectations, too, set from the moment of\nbirth,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A metaphorical chokehold as far as I\u2019m concerned, additional\nneedless pressure,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tried and failed so many times over, win-loss record\nfavoring the latter,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Their prophecy unfulfilled with no contingencies, I must be\na no-hoper,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bad vibes permeating self-worth, nobody \u2018round to talk it\nout with,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why place trust in others capable of plunging daggers when\nyou don\u2019t expect it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every known relationship ever severed in the most\nunfavourable ways,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Barely a parting word exchanged, forget a sweet embrace,\nwe\u2019re talking bridges doused with petrol then setting it aflame,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Smiling through the pain, they won\u2019t know shit this way,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But behind the mask an inverted smile, hovering over it the\nappeal of a self-inflicted demise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See you wandering about, your head up in the clouds, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Damn near bowling others over, they\u2019re cussing at ya from\nright over their shoulders,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looks like you\u2019d had a heavy day or still stuck in the midst\nof it,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Word is you want out \u2018cuz you can no longer take it,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leave it to me to give you a dose of brutal reality, shit\nyou need to hear,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That you\u2019d never known true suffering, let alone absolute\nfear,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While your grown folks were upstanding mine were bottom of\nthe barrel,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Drank, shot, snorted and swallowed what was within reach,\npassed their bad habits unto me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Took my share of beatings at home and away, more than any\nkid deserved, certainly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just call me a heavy bag with legs, the shoe fits perfectly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A lifelong nomad against my will, it was one eviction after\nanother,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was Mom and Pop\u2019s way, I just inherited their traits, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Money was tight and it was my education or their vices, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spoiler alert ahead, the latter took precedent,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The curse could\u2019ve ended but fuck it the proverbial leaves\nain\u2019t turning,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I\u2019m royally twisted like \u2018em, draining every last\nfucking pay check, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can\u2019t live without the stash, though, no better way to numb\nthe pain,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Experiences and inner torment just as potent as scarring\nfrom fighting and self-harming, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One thing lead to another and soon they made off with my\nlodgings,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Went through partners like used underwear, the little ones\naren\u2019t hearing it, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I\u2019m here among the dregs, the ones the masses pretend\ndon\u2019t exist,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can\u2019t blame nothing or nobody, I\u2019m programmed towards the\nself-destructive,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Desperate to fight back but untrained and too chicken-shit\nfor it,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stop and pay attention, Sir, this shit here be real life\nfucking problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You rail at feeling trapped, of expectations and needless\npressure,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because your parents believed you had it in you to achieve everlasting\ngreatness,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Any idea how green many a face would be at that? That they\ncared enough to feed, clothe and raise your ass so you don\u2019t fall right through\nthe cracks?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I\u2019d had a taste of it I just might have become someone,\nbut it remains a theory and always will be, just wanted a fighting chance but\nnever was afforded one,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You grew up comfortably in a stable environment, finished\nschool and now making a decent living,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can afford to keep a roof overhead, to keep that belly fed,\nwhat others yearn for you take \u2018em every day for granted,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Barely experienced the challenges others go through, daily,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ever had to hide from murderers and thieves? Resort to drastic\nmeasures for lodgings and a decent feed? Sleep on the streets, come freezing\ncold or searing heat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You ain\u2019t been forced to survive the school of hard knocks\nand all her soul-searing tests,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Betrayed by your folks, stabbed figuratively and literally\nby so-called friends, tormented daily by even bigger demons than even the ones\nyou think reside in your head,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take a deep breath and venture out your cocoon, take a good\nlook at the world around you,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That head been stuck so far up your ass that you don\u2019t even\nhave a clue,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then you\u2019ll realise the true depths of suffering, harden up\nand gain you some perspective,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck your feelings and first-world problems, so much going\nfor you but you choose to be blind to \u2018em,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hope that shit empowers you to be better, to count your\nblessings and be of service to others,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The ones for whom yours is an impossible dream, walk a mile in their shoes, it could\u2019ve been worse for you, so pull your damn self together, Fool!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Been carrying this load now, weighed down for the longest time, Shoulders slouched and knees tired, could\u2019ve been a strong man but feeling just about fried, Twin tormentors jockeying for position but equally loud and destructive, Got your man running from one end of the proverbial spectrum right to the other, Sights set on a … <\/p>\n