Hey, there, Young\u2019un, what\u2019s the story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You won\u2019t believe it but you\u2019re the younger version of me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At present you\u2019re a grown man aged in his 30s,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Travelling back in time bearing overdue apologies,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So here it goes, hope it doesn\u2019t get messy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Swallowing my pride to be one-hundred temporarily,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of what you hear might be hard to take in, but you\u2019ll\nlive it, it\u2019s in the future, so you better be ready,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry for letting you get too lazy, should have forced you outdoors\nbut let you veg out in front the TV,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry for letting you get so out of shape you grew a keg and\nlil\u2019 titties, a growing boy\u2019s gotta eat but I let you slack off on your\nextra-curricular activities, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now the other kids are treating you like a patsy,\nchildish teasing coming from all directions, nooks and crannies,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry that you had to be an oddball with a personality\nsuited for nerds and beings from a different galaxy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kids can be so cruel and I exposed you to their brand of\nimmaturity, and I let you take it rather than empower you to clap back with\naudacity,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019d kept up with the swimming and karate who knows\nwhere your future might be? Maybe collecting medals or title belts while\ninspiring kids in the community, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019d scratched on your guitar and spent less time gaming\nyou might have penned a hit revered for eternity, but alas it remains a what-if\nconfined deep in the vaults of history.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fast forward now to your teen years, where your poker face\nserved to hide the anxiety and tears,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The good times minglin\u2019 with combustible memories, even up\nto now can still make your grown-self cringe,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At 13 you were rockin\u2019, rollin\u2019 and full of beans, a\nburnt-out shell by the time you\u2019d reached 19,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fun times and adventures continued with the family while\nhigh school troubles beat you down with increasing regularity,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While they were just joking \u2018round in elementary here the\nvitriol had been upped quite significantly, \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should\u2019ve let you fight back though you were at the mercy\nof uncaring teachers and the entire student body,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For leaving you to the sharks I can\u2019t offer nothing but an\noverdue apology, led you to deceitful phoneys that knifed your back before\njoining those trolling you mercilessly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Got you fretting over grades and tests and most of all the motherfucking\nHSC, convinced you that a number on a piece of paper would make or break your\ndestiny,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite your best efforts you could only muster B\u2019s and C\u2019s,\nI should\u2019ve shielded you from those expecting what was beyond the sum of your\nabilities,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it any wonder that the happy kid you used to be became a\ndistant memory? Replaced by a young adult depressed, repressed and mistrusting\nof everybody,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emotions bottled up and stored away \u2018til the contents done\npassed their date of expiry, for all the bullshit that you had to run through\nyou can put the blame on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For every jerk and fraud that you\u2019d encountered, you can put\nthe blame on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For letting needless pressure do your head in, you can put\nthe blame on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For rejecting what gen pop dictated to be the norm, you can\nput the blame on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For pushing you to hiding instead of clapping, you can put\nthe blame on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Crossing over now to your adult years, namely the minefield\nthat was your early-to-mid twenties,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still brimming on the outside physically, but on the inside\nit\u2019s a whole \u2018nother story,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry you\u2019d been rendered a disillusioned cynic, thinking\nthat the human race can fuck itself as a species, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teen angst clinging to you like a blood-sucking leech, got\nyou suspecting and distrusting everybody,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry for not pushing you to fight your inner beasts,\nstewing in your filth served to make perceived failures a reality,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Others were out making friends, sowing oats and living\ndecadently, good times and memories made while pursuing university degrees,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Such a lifestyle at odds with an anti-social personality, to\nhell with waking from a stupor damn near on the daily,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But deep down your self-imposed exile low-key left you\nfeeling lonely, how good would it be, maybe, to connect on some level with\nanybody,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now you\u2019re looking back with a tinge of regret over how\nit could have played out differently, and now it\u2019s too late to turn back time,\nyou\u2019ll never get another opportunity,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I forced you to embrace your fear and loathing and so you\u2019d\nwasted most of your twenties, can\u2019t do nothing now so all that\u2019s left is to say\n\u2018sorry,\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry for not forcing you to plan ahead as a bitty kid, too\ncontent living in the moment to engage in serious forward-thinking,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry that you chose to be a creative, where success is not\nexactly a given guarantee,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry that it took a serious illness for you to gain some\nclarity, as we shall find out shortly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But wait, your twenties needn\u2019t end in tragedy, a turning\npoint lay ahead two years after your quarter-century.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Made your way into the Wing Chun Academy, though admittedly\napprehensive initially,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wonderin\u2019 how you\u2019ll do as a grown man and not as lazy, the\nfirst extra-curricular since the days of swimmin\u2019 strummin\u2019 and karate,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Turned out to be the tonic that was missing, mentally, physically\nand even socially,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bit by bit hacked away at your in-built cloak of\ninvisibility, the chip on your shoulder closing up belatedly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Finally found friends that were the real deal, no snakes and\nleeches keeping you alert for signs of disloyalty,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emerged from your hideout to meet more peeps, forming\nfriendships for the first time in many years,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The hermit that you once were all but a distant memory, it\nwould seem that you\u2019d finally achieved some level of maturity,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Work life looking up for you exponentially, used to fade in\nthe back now you\u2019re taking part willingly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That it took this long for you to level up I can only say\nsorry, they say better late than never but you\u2019d been drifting for too long\nendlessly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clearly you weren\u2019t meant to hit your peak way too early,\nbut you hung on and for that you deserve to be rewarded handsomely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ups and downs over the next few years, from late twenties\nand well into your thirties, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Met somebody then befriended her quickly, been accumulating\nplenty of \u2018em lately,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry that I\u2019d led you to believe that something deeper was within\nthe realm of possibilities,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Fessed up to her \u2018bout your hidden feelings, she knocked you\nback with no ifs, buts or maybes,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looks like it just wasn\u2019t meant to be, but credit to you for\nyour courage and honesty,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then came the serious and unexpected disease, for reasons unexplained\nfoiled by your own immunity,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faced challenges ranging from the serious to humiliating,\nyour first major test since the psychological horrors from your teens, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good doctors and the support of your friends and family\nensured that you beat this silent tormentor rather easily,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just as it seemed that all was back on easy street, covid\npandemic knocked the whole world loopy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wreaking havoc upon society, exposing fools, jerks and\nscumbags on the daily,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry \u2018bout your compromised immunity, you\u2019d had to isolate\nlike a prisoner in solitary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But at least you were given time to write your story, found\nyour muse through that health battle though it sounds crazy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But while it seems like lockdown\u2019s treating you kindly,\nghosts from the past are pokin\u2019, proddin\u2019, waiting for you to get lazy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would seem that after 2020, this older, wiser, friendlier\nversion\u2019s in serious jeopardy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Been some time since you\u2019d engaged face to face with your\nbuddies, feeling marooned once more like when you were teens and early\ntwenties,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Walking, training and writing keeping you in check mentally,\nbut chinks in the armour are always a possibility,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The spectre of who you once were testing your will and\ntenacity, comin\u2019 full circle feeling like positive developments were only\ntemporary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Got you wondering if you were doomed to be a loner for\neternity, perhaps this was who you were always meant to be,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The whole world\u2019s hanging in the balance now, as though in a\ndeep, dark and hellish freeze, only time will tell when we\u2019ll finally be free\nand day by day it\u2019s looking less likely,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Til then, Kid, you gotta hang in there, you\u2019ve done it many\ntimes it should come to you naturally, gotta keep your head up high, your mind\nclear as night and fight the temptation to do something silly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That she didn\u2019t feel the same way, you can blame it on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For chasing dreams that may or may not become a reality, you\ncan blame it on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For your body\u2019s betrayal despite doing all the right things,\nyou can put the blame on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For your continued inability to let people in, you can blame\nit on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, there you have it now, Little Kid, what awaits between\nnow and your mid-30s,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apologies if it roused in you any suspicions and worries,\nbut it need not be all drama and uncertainties,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ups and downs are a given guarantee, ain\u2019t nobody\u2019s journey\never runs smoothly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry if it feels like I\u2019d let you be nothing more than the\nvillage punching bag and picked-on kid,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry if it feels like I\u2019d left you ill-equipped to handle certain\nchallenges, predators and life\u2019s little quandaries,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry \u2018bout the time when you were eighteen, tormented by\nschool, your personal and those fuckin\u2019 bullies,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything came crashing down all around it seemed, got you\nthinking \u2018bout checking outta here,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To your credit the moment was merely fleeting, been lurking\nsince but at present you\u2019re still standing,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All up you still have it easy, the school of hard knocks not\na part of your itinerary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma and Pa kept you well-provided for and healthy, not\neverybody are as lucky,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No serious health struggles beyond the one from 2018, from\nwhich you bounced back rather quickly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Had it never happened you may have dropped that teenage\ndream to be a writer way to turn that curse into a blessing,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there\u2019s no point wanting to redo anything from a\nchildhood that played out relatively hassle-free, a few hiccups here and there\nbut overall damn near perfect as any childhood can possibly be,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would have been great to go further in all those\nextra-curricular activities, but in hindsight you\u2019d probably given them your\nbest shot each, extended spells just weren\u2019t meant to be,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You never had it in you to live hedonistically in your\ntwenties so don\u2019t even waste your energy, you\u2019d have wanted to get the fuck\noutta there like a bat outta hell, tyres squealing like a banshee,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The struggles that you had faced are still mere child\u2019s play\ncompared to other peoples\u2019 difficulties, could have been much, much worse for\nyou so you better count your blessings while you\u2019re down on your knees,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why hold onto the shackles of what\u2019s been and done and what\nmight have been, rather than letting go so you can finally live freely?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So much more life for you to live, to carve your legacy, still\nmany more pages before you can claim a thorough victory,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now you know what lies ahead, your true destiny, keep your\nhead up high but for now I\u2019ll just say that you can blame it on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That this ramble was too lengthy, you can blame it on me<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For killing the suspense so early, you can blame it on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For all the bad shit that lies ahead you can blame it on me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Should you change the course of history, you\u2019ll have to give\nthanks to me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hey, there, Young\u2019un, what\u2019s the story? You won\u2019t believe it but you\u2019re the younger version of me, At present you\u2019re a grown man aged in his 30s, Travelling back in time bearing overdue apologies, So here it goes, hope it doesn\u2019t get messy, Swallowing my pride to be one-hundred temporarily, Some of what you hear … <\/p>\n