{"id":356,"date":"2019-07-25T07:11:41","date_gmt":"2019-07-25T07:11:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/?p=356"},"modified":"2019-07-25T07:11:41","modified_gmt":"2019-07-25T07:11:41","slug":"mama-said-knock-you-out-the-alarm-the-scare-the-return","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/?p=356","title":{"rendered":"Mama Said Knock You Out: The Alarm, The Scare, The Return"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u2018Don\u2019t call it a comeback, I\u2019ve been here for years!\u2019<\/em>
So rapped LL Cool J in that hit song of his,<\/em>
Two last-minute speed bumps in my way, got through them anyway,<\/em>
D-Day\u2019s finally here,<\/em>
Time to kick it into gear.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

19\/10\/2018<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The end of October marked my return to the Wing Chun Academy after months of fighting and recuperating from ulcerative colitis. It had been a long time coming and once the 19th<\/sup> of October rolled around I woke up feeling like Buster Douglas when he beat Mike Tyson, a victory that, to this day, still stands as the biggest upset in boxing history. Ok, that was a very cheesy comparison but colitis (SEVERE pancolitis to be exact) was what Iron Mike had once been in and out of the boxing ring; an extremely violent and merciless prick that took no prisoners and I fought that thing and came out on top.
But first, I had to deal with two last-minute hiccups. Actually, scratch that \u2013 it was one little hiccup and followed by a massive scare that threatened to derail my progress.
Let me explain.
The little hiccup arrived in the form of an e-mail that I had received from Dr. B during one particular day in which he instructed me to increase my Imuran dosage from two tablets per day to three, apparently in order to speed up my recovery by further preventing that traitorous, vindictive motherfucker also known as my immune system from attacking my body. It seemed like a reasonable arrangement and the payoff was appealing but in the mind of a man recovering from a hellish disease it definitely raised some concern. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh no\u2026\u2026is there a\nproblem!?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sat down and had a brief talk about it with my father, during which he reassured me that I should think of it as Dr. B urging me to get to the finish line faster, not a sign that I had regressed.
\u201cSon, if it was bad news I\u2019m pretty sure he would have summoned you to his clinic right away and booked another surgical procedure for you,\u201d he reasoned.
Put that way it did take the edge off and once I increased the dosage it didn\u2019t seem to have any serious side-effects<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, so all was good, right? Well, not quite. Let\u2019s look at the shocker moment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day, as I was taking a walk around a shopping center I began to feel a familiar kind of discomfort, one that I hadn\u2019t felt in quite some time. Initially, I tried to ignore it and kept walking without a care in the world but that\u2019s when it decided to be more persuasive.
First, my stomach began to feel funny.
That funny feeling then began to feel quite painful.
That discomfort then made its way a little down south\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GET TO DA\nCRAPPER!!!!!!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, that was written – or rather, shouted – in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I frantically searched for the nearest restroom on the ground floor that I was traipsing around in and while it didn\u2019t take long to find it I was suddenly confronted by a sign that hung on the restroom door on which inscribed were the last words I wanted to read;
\u2018Under construction, sorry for the inconvenience.\u2019
YOU HAVE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!!!???<\/em>
I thought bouts of sheer dumb bad luck such as this only occurred in TV sitcoms.
Cursing my luck and resisting the urge to kick that fucking door down, I turned tail and made my way to the nearest escalator to go up one level, practically bobbing, weaving, spinning and bulldozing my way up that conveyor through the line of people content to stand still like a rugby player evading on-coming players on the way to the try-line. I was in total panic mode and I swear I heard The Flight Of The Bumblebee <\/em>ringing in my mind as I struggled to keep the bombs from dropping long before I\u2019d reached the assigned target as my stomach continued to grumble. I never accidentally hit anyone on my way up that escalator but it must have shocked them to see a man zoom past them like The Flash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, folks. It\u2019s a\nmatter of health and dignity!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I quickly scanned the first floor upon hopping off the escalator and found the restroom, thankfully just a few feet away. No \u2018under construction\u2019 signs here, I dashed straight in like a man caught under a sudden downpour looking for shelter, into an empty cubicle and did my business. I honestly believed that had I not reached the restroom when I did I would have messed myself right there in the mall, giving horrified and bewildered on-lookers a live re-enactment of THAT scene from the film Dumb and Dumber.<\/em>
That surely would have been a shitty situation.<\/em>
Sorry, Dear Readers, I couldn\u2019t resist! Feel free to face-palm.
Once I had unloaded I decided that it would be a good idea to take a peek at the results. I hadn\u2019t felt that dreaded \u2018Oh shit!\u2019 feeling since the height of my suffering a few months ago and was hopeful that everything was still normal as far \u2018number twos\u2019 were concerned and so I slowly took a glance, expecting no nasty surprises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, what\u2019s that\npinkish hue there? I know I didn\u2019t eat any beetroot over the last few days.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I slowly looked up, blinked several times and took another\nlook. Surely I was just seeing things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still there.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With fear now manifesting itself in the pit of my stomach I\nstood straight up and took another glance and at that moment the entire world\nceased to exist and I found myself trapped once again in that agonizing\nenvelope of deep, dark nothingness, similar to what I\u2019d felt after I\u2019d\nperformed burpees during the height of my then-undiagnosed anaemia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the fuck is that\npink doing there!!!???<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. B\u2019s latest e-mail may have triggered alarm bells to my\npsyche but this was a catastrophic disaster on a similar scale to the eruption\nof Krakatoa. Resisting the urge to scream out in agony and treat the blue-grey\ncubicle walls as my personal punching bags, I slowly sat back down and cleaned\nmyself up as the feelings of shock and disbelief washed over me before flushing\nthe toilet and then washing my hands. I then left the restroom, completely\ndejected, dragging my feet as I slowly made my way to the parking lot like a\nman that had been robbed at gunpoint, a stark contrast to the spring in my step\nand the swagger that I had carried with me just ten minutes earlier. I was\npractically numb with anxiety for the remainder of the day as that familiar,\nsickening phobia of using the toilet once again set up camp in my mind, again accompanied\nby that fear of losing more blood the next time I went. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man, I left this\nbehind months ago! What the fuck happened!?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mind immediately ran itself ragged wondering if my run of\ngood fortune was only a mirage and that the Imuran and Mezavant had only served\nto temporarily halt the monster. Perhaps this was the part where colitis would suddenly\nreturn following a couple of months in the wilderness, revitalized and with\nrevenge and mayhem in its mind. If that was the case then I would have to\nexplore new treatment options \u2013 which meant that cutting out my bowels and\nwalking around with a colostomy bag hanging off of my abdomen would once again\nbecome a possibility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Urgh, pass me the\nbucket, I\u2019m gonna be sick!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thought of it made my skin crawl. My team of doctors, family and I had been doing everything we could to avoid that fate and to this day, we still are. No, no way. That will NEVER be an option as far as I\u2019m concerned!
But then something happened to restore the peace. I felt another urge to \u2018go\u2019 later that night and upon relieving myself in the bathroom, I took a peek once again and everything seemed fine and it\u2019s been fine ever since. I guess that scare must have been a minor flare-up and a response to the extra dose of Imuran.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bullshit. Try again,\nbro.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, fine. Maybe it was partially my fault, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it might have been a response to the extra dose, it\nmay have also been triggered by my allowing myself to slack off with my diet as\nof late, at times feasting like King Adolf Frederick of Sweden did during his\nlast night of life. Despite my rather short stature I am a pretty big eater on\na good day, although in my defense it\u2019s because I am an active person, but I\nhad been warned by Dr. B that I should not place too much strain on my bowels\nas I was still recovering. I listened to his advice and complied but every now\nand then I slipped up and literally bit off more than I can chew. The bowel,\nnaturally, felt overwhelmed too soon and let me know about it in a rather\nfrightening manner. It was one thing to be able to work out and leave the\nhouse, but I still needed to go easy on my digestive system and perhaps this\nlittle setback was the bowel\u2019s way of saying, \u201cslow down, jerk!!!! I ain\u2019t 100%\nyet!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, you made your\npoint clear. I\u2019ll be good!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, my return to the Wing Chun Academy was scheduled for the 19th<\/sup> of October. Much to my disbelief and although I had anticipated it, my parents were a little uneasy, my mother in particular. She feared that participating in any athletic or strenuous endeavor would somehow \u2018over-work\u2019 me and that I\u2019d get sick again or worse. Never mind the fact that I\u2019ve been going there for more than five years and was aware that I had to exercise some caution for the time being but apparently, she\u2019d prefer that I lived like an old man whose best days had passed him and accept that I was no longer built for any form of athletic endeavor or anything particularly adventurous all because of this damn disease whose ass I\u2019d just stomped.
I could only shake my head and roll my eyes. I did not fight back hard just to spend the rest of my life \u2018playing it safe\u2019 and living like a reclusive hypochondriac. The prospect of being the very best version of myself again, which included being strong and athletic, was what had sustained me over these last few months and Dr. B had also made it his personal mission to get me back into \u2018fighting shape\u2019 and to be able to live a normal life again. Fuck colitis and its after effects, I will never submit to that motherfucker. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I repeat, FUCK colitis and its after-effects, I will NEVER,\nEVER submit to that motherfucker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stood my ground and calmly reminded her, and Dad too, for that matter, that I had made it clear as day that I would reclaim \u2018the real me\u2019 once I had defeated colitis, that I would never allow myself to live in fear of it for the rest of my life and that Dr. B had given me the green light and dismissed any notion that being active would cause a flare-up, and that it was the cause of the colitis in the first place, a proposition that Dr. G had literally laughed off too, by the way. But I guess it\u2019s a typical case of a mother being worried for her kids and I understood that she believed that she was looking out for my best interests but trying to talk me into living a life that I would grow to hate?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, Mom, I appreciate the concern but I think I know what works best for me more than anyone and I\u2019m going for it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My parents eventually let me be, such was the conviction in my tone when I told them that I was not going to be denied, and once the 19th<\/sup> of October rolled around, I made my way to the Academy, excitement swimming through my system as I entered the building and climbed up the stairs leading to the entrance. I heard the familiar sound of bags and pads being pounded on my way up accompanied by the sound of students and instructors encouraging one another.I was quite impressed by the turn-out on this particular Friday evening as I entered, with students on just about every corner of the room. Physically, the interior remained the same, save for a bigger, newer shelf that had replaced the decaying one that previously \u2013 and barely \u2013 held various pads, gloves and protective gear. The giant red punching bag that hung close to the front desk nicknamed \u2018Big Red\u2019 remained, still bearing the scars from a lifetime spent absorbing countless kicks, palm strikes and punches. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looks like the old\nboy\u2019s still standing strong.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My presence was instantly noticed by one of my friends and the rest of the class seemed to quickly follow suit and what happened next was a pleasant surprise. The whole class, students, instructors and even the staff behind the front desk, literally stopped what they were doing and gave me a rousing round of applause. It was truly humbling and I waved to everyone and bowed in appreciation for their grand gesture, grinning from ear-to-ear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m home, Fam. I\u2019ve missed you all.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once all greetings and exchanges of hugs, handshakes and fist-bumps were through it was back to business as usual with training before teaching a group of grade three students during the last scheduled class for the evening for yours truly. I was a little rusty and did my best not to push myself too hard as per Dr. B\u2019s orders but I think it was a decent session.
I did the rounds and caught up with everyone in between and after classes and just as it was during my friend\u2019s house party a few weeks earlier, I gave them a brief rundown of the last few months, confirming their suspicions before my absence that I had been battling a rather serious illness.
Well damn\u2026..did I really look that bad!<\/em>?
You most certainly did, Buddy.
Yep, it turned out that my training partners-slash-friends, bless them, had silently been concerned about my health the entire time but didn\u2019t want to say it out loud, although some did tell me every once in a while shortly before the transfusion that I looked pale, thin and wasn\u2019t my usual self. Meanwhile, I carried on pretending that all was well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How thick can you\nget!? You looked like shit and they knew it but didn\u2019t want to hurt your\nfeelings. You weren\u2019t fooling nobody!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of those to whom that I shared my horror story there were some that were vaguely aware of what ulcerative colitis was. Many more, however, weren\u2019t quite so sure and gasped when I described to them the symptoms and treatment.
How is this fucking evil disease not yet widely known!?<\/em>
I had no firm grounds for outrage since I myself was ignorant of it until I was diagnosed. I guess what they say is true, you never know the severity and magnitude of a challenge unless it happens to you or someone you love and that anything can happen to anybody. And Dr. B had informed me, with a tone of resignation in his voice might I add, that there were still no real remedies available for this disease, nor have the true causes been identified and are, for now, largely speculative. Either the powers that be don\u2019t know, are still in the process of finding a cure or, worse, they are not getting the help they need.
What a shame. I wouldn\u2019t wish this shit upon my worst enemy.
But it was good vibes all around at the Academy, nothing awkward at all, and once I had filled everyone in on the reasons for my absence we quickly picked up right where we left off, in terms of training and what was happening in everyone else\u2019s lives. Work lives, family lives, holidays, triumphs and troubles, congratulating students that have successfully climbed up the grades\u2026\u2026..no stone was left unturned. It truly felt great to be back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An anecdote from another friend at the Academy on the\nfollowing Tuesday truly brought home just how badly the colitis had ravaged me.\nThis particular friend also practiced Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and a couple of weeks\nbefore my transfusion, shortly before a sparring class, he demonstrated a move on\nme that he had been working on that involved lifting me off the floor. He\nexplained to me that he had braced himself prior to executing the move on me\nthat day as he was expecting to lift a decent amount of weight off the floor\nbut it turned out he needn\u2019t had bothered since I was, apparently, light as a\nfeather. Picking up a travel bag packed to bursting levels would have required\nmore effort than my sick, underweight self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yikes!<\/em>   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, I\u2019ve continued to train and teach at the Wing Chun Academy ever since in addition to continuing with my recovery. I know that returning to martial arts training didn\u2019t really count for all that much in the grand scheme of things but for me it was a monumental achievement and that was why I had bristled at my mother\u2019s suggestion to quit. Again, I understood where she was coming from and I guess I should consider myself fortunate that she cared enough for me to speak up but for me, life would have been meaningless if I didn’t allow myself to live it the way I wanted to and partake in activities that I enjoyed. By returning I had fulfilled both a personal goal and <\/em>one part of Dr. B\u2019s mission and also showed that fucking colitis that it couldn\u2019t keep me down.
The next part? That\u2019s the big one, Dear Reader \u2013 the complete remission of the colitis before completely weaning me off of my medication.
Things could only get better from here on out and I still had two more months before the year was over. Bring on November and December, looks like Christmas was going to be sweet!\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018Don\u2019t call it a comeback, I\u2019ve been here for years!\u2019So rapped LL Cool J in that hit song of his,Two last-minute speed bumps in my way, got through them anyway,D-Day\u2019s finally here,Time to kick it into gear. 19\/10\/2018 The end of October marked my return to the Wing Chun Academy after months of fighting and … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Mama Said Knock You Out: The Alarm, The Scare, The Return”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=356"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/musicalmemories.whereishome.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}