Arrived an hour early, they got me signing papers
\nBefore escorting me to that weird-looking chamber,
\nStrapped me up then dimmed down the lights,
\n‘Gonna be noisy in there’, they warned, ‘keep those earplugs tight,’
\nThen I was off, slowly but surely, before coming to a stop,
\nThat’s when the symphony began, a cacophony of crackles and pop.<\/p>\n
Nothing drastic at first, just an initial buzzing,
\nBefore developing into the sound of a chainsaw revving,
\nFelt the vibrations from head to toe before I heard machine gun fire,
\nFollowed by an eerie bass, the type that went on for a while.<\/p>\n
Then a brief respite, heard George Michael on the radio, The time ticked by, my body felt empty, Another brief respite, the earplugs run deep, Another alien invasion followed by weird drum beats, Wheeled back in before the gun shots rang out, <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Arrived an hour early, they got me signing papers Before escorting me to that weird-looking chamber, Strapped me up then dimmed down the lights, ‘Gonna be noisy in there’, they warned, ‘keep those earplugs tight,’ Then I was off, slowly but surely, before coming to a stop, That’s when the symphony began, a cacophony of … <\/p>\n
\nBefore the orchestra of sound resumed with zeal and gusto,
\nThe bass was up first, sounded like the music from Jaws,<\/em>
\nSoon accompanied by a beat that I felt from my head to my feet.<\/p>\n
\nForced to lie still like a dead soldier, God this itchy nose is killing me,
\nSurely an innocent scratch won’t harm the outcome?
\nTo hell with it, a man can only put up with such irritation,
\nThe guns went off once more, like a military salute,
\nFelt like I was on the set of Full Metal Jacket,<\/em> running, hiding and dodging bullets,
\nThen the beeping started, here comes a new sound,
\nMust be an alien invasion, I come in peace, let me show y’all around.<\/p>\n
\nWhat’s that they playin’ on the radio? No time, here comes another beep,
\nFollowed by that damn chainsaw once again,
\nHow long does it take to cut down a tree, man!?
\nAnd then the horror theme resumed once more with a stronger beat,
\nTried to fuse some rhymes for an impromptu freestyle, but can’t do much while strapped like a captive crocodile,
\nThe bass goes on and on and on some more,
\nThis shit becoming boring now and my legs are getting sore.<\/p>\n
\nThen that chainsaw revs up again, God dammit CUT DOWN THAT TREE!!!!
\nSilence follows abruptly, a strange voice speaks to me,
\n“Doctor ordered an injection,” gotta see my insides more clearly,
\nWheeled out briefly, felt the sting of a needle,
\nFollowed by some cool liquid flowing through my veins, fifteen minutes more before I’m done with this game.<\/p>\n
\nBy now they’ve taken on the sound of helicopter blades spinning out,
\nThankfully no more chainsaw but the horror theme is back,
\nSportin’ a harder beat, this remix is fire even though a little whack,
\nAlmost an hour now, lying motionless and strapped,
\nI’ve now lost most of the feeling from my back,
\nSoldier on, Boy, the end is in sight,
\nBlock out the sounds, your ears are still alright,
\nThen it’s all over, I see the light once more,
\nThe nurse frees me from my spot, wow my head is sore!
\n“Gather your things and take this form to the front desk,” she requested,
\n“Thank you and will do,” and with that I head out to the receptionist.<\/p>\n