Let It Bern

Chalice in hand, held by unsteady fingers,

Contents bubbling, smell is sickening, guaranteed to make a killing,

Tipped then forced down your gullet, by your hand at your command,

Down goes the poison and now your insides are corroded,

Yet you’re sitting, waiting, for they that vexed you to meet their maker,

Though you’re the one that swallowed it, the world around you quickly fading,

The script been flipped, they were supposed to take the punishment,

Should’ve listened to Buddha in matters of holding onto anger,

You think you’ve got ‘em poisoned but in the end it’s you that ends up suffering,

Bearing that weight to spite and remind them that they are bottom-feeding, no-good, foul little cretins while those joints of yours are straining,

To hell with lifting your feet up, you’re thinking, keep it pressed against their necks,

Choke the life out of ‘em, metaphorically, make sure they never forget,

Do tell, Dear Friend, why hold onto wounds from the past?

How do you expect to heal when you keep picking at the scabs?

You think they’re fretting over sins? They’ve likely moved on from that shit,

Forged new lives, perhaps redeemed themselves, it’s been and done and buried deep,

Maybe they never cared, if your description of them’s accurate then they must be sociopathic,

Those types never give a thought to the chaos they create, they’re a special breed indeed,

Why not go another direction? Turn that anger into kindness?

Forgive then let go instead, finally, belatedly, take your foot off their necks.

You’re likely aghast, wondering why show them any mercy? It’s akin to condoning what they did, miss you with that shit,

You’ve got it wrong, though, no one’s asking you to let it slide,

But are such folks worth the effort required to carry hatred with you all your life?

You got to this point intact but choose to stay mad at ‘em,

You’re not hurting ‘em or beating ‘em, if anything just empowering ‘em by choosing to stay their victim,

Forgive them, Friend, drop the load and catch your breath,

Your time on earth is limited, why waste it caught up in these feelings?

Gotta keep your eyes on the road, the only way is forward,

Can’t look at the rearview for too long ‘lest you get into an accident,

So go ahead, let them go and set yourself free,

Life will be so much better, you’ll see.

Been here before, numerous times, at this point lost count,

Call it a speed bump, call it a trap, length of time spent here vary across the map,

The bane of many a writer, y’all know what it’s all about,

Once again traipsin’ around The Block, driven berserk by the ticking of the clock,

Charged out the gates armed with ideas, stacks of lines and chapters waiting to be written,

On a roll of sorts before Humpty Dumpty had a fall, just can’t make sense of it at all,

Reviewing the battle plan once more, looking for different avenues to cross, hopefully to then piece it all together, to make art from out the rubble,

Alas, it’s no use, dead ends in all directions, no telling how long we’re stuck,

Escape will take patience and, perhaps, a heavy dose of luck,

Thus opens a new fork in the road, no turning back from either option,

To wave the proverbial flag and walk or to grit those teeth and soldier on,

Really comes down to your dedication with this art that you’re creating,

Got something important to say? Maybe bills to pay?

Maybe you’re just passing time through creating, normal life will go unaffected,

If real life depends on it, if the message is worth spreading you’ll find a way to push through,

Been here before, why stop now? Think back to why you’d started, the cliché rings true,

If not then drop it, walk away then begin anew, maybe come back to it later, once time and wisdom brought about with it some answers,

Find a way or an excuse, the rest is up to you,

How bad do you want it? Will you leave or stay stuck in this place? Rise above or be consumed by it? Find a way or walk away? Better ask yourself some questions.

Chapter three, we’ve finally made it, the final level inching closer towards completion,

Barely holding onto that proverbial rope, it’s cracked and fraying while palms are bleeding,

Prepping for that final boss, taking care of its minions first,

Trials, assessments and exams galore, a carefree life exists no more,

Outside those gates, learning the inner workings behind the driver’s seat,

Been at it for one year already, locked on towards those red Ps,

Life at home base remains stable, though chipping on the surface,

Unsure if it’s wear and tear or a slow-paced crumbling,

Tensions mounting, taking a wee bit longer to resolve, at times those glory years feel like mere hallucinations, might as well had never happened at all,

Can’t forget that day, another explosive row between them three, retreated to the sanctuary, teens shed tears only under the veil of privacy,

Feeling the heat from some of the relos, nothing like pressure to create diamonds,

It also busts pipes, bet they didn’t know it, that’s how your guy here be feeling it,

There’s also the retreat, lasted two days and one night in an idyllic setting to ‘find ourselves’, that’s the bullshit they’re preaching,

Didn’t quite go as planned, yours truly got a revelation instead, any semblance of acceptance pretty much gone and fucking dead,

Couldn’t even shower in peace, the trolls were frothing and let loose,

No deadly kinky prison shit in here, but literal mudslinging was put to malicious use,

Way to convince a guy that he’s alone, fuck it, so be it,

Won’t rattle y’alls cages anymore, I’ll gladly go off on my lonesome,

Can’t lie, some friendly folks remained, well-meaning and approachable, unlike the snakes that went right for the jugular,

Treated them in kind but stopped short of letting them in, never know if wolves are lurking within, gotta be wary of whom I be trustin’,

Don’t bother asking ‘bout girls, dating or anything of the sort, no time for any of that, not while tests, gen pop and expectations are on riding my back,

Not that they’re checking for your boy and the feeling was mutual, at this rate will probably fly the skies without a co-pilot, off to the great unknown alone,

Every waking moment between classes spent in the library, a refuge from the bullies and the politics,

Finding a safe haven between shelves, can’t remember the categories but one of them was music,

Flicking through pages until the chiming of the bell, before another onslaught of assessments and unwanted interactions, life on campus a special kind of hell,

Speaking of, they say there’s a place reserved for those that take matters into their own hands,

Never did plan on turning towards a permanent solution, but to say I ain’t ever thought about it would be lyin’ about it.

Took a trip down memory lane one day, flicking through that photo album,

So many fond memories, some of ‘em forgotten,

Stumbled upon one from kindergarten years, featured two cute little kids,

One of ‘em yours truly, you being the other, ain’t seen you in years and years,

How we came to share a snap, kind of a funny story, that,

Never were buddies, nor did we interact, boys and girls tend to stick to their own, just a matter of fact,

Parents’ Day was the catalyst, school putting together a celebration, kiddies dancing with one another, that’s how we wound up partners,

Recollections of that day hazy, been more than thirty, feels like a lifetime,

So many highs and lows since, it lies buried deep beneath layers of grime,

This artefact remains the only proof of its occurrence and also our shared existence,

Which, by that time, had become numbered, year’s end brought with it drastic changes,

Both of us destined to leave The Islands, this boy and his fam first cab off the ranks,

Bound for the Land Down Under, a better life lay ahead, so promised the parents,

Heard from the grapevine that you and your folks were bound for the Land Of Opportunity, traveling to opposite sides of the globe,

Never crossed paths again, our time in one anothers’ stories ended,

Can’t lie, looking at this picture kinda makes me wonder where you’re at,

If you yourself possess a keepsake, also how life had turned out for you,

Are you still up there in the States? Maybe moved overseas? Maybe returned to the Philippines?

Married and had you a bunch of kids? Flying solo like many today are wont to do? Wherever you are, hope it all worked out well for you,

Maybe we’d crossed paths by accident over the years, this kid grew up to be quite a traveller, maybe you’d taken a similar path, it’s just one of many possibilities,

But at the end of the day it’s all speculation, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t simping or wishing and hoping,

We were six at the time, too early to be thinking about romance, barely even got to talking, though the classmates did their share of trolling,

About how we’d grow old together, apparently dance partners make good life partners,

Despite the lack of an emotional connection or signs of affection holding hands is enough for a happily ever after,

I wonder if you remember that or even noticed, kinda amusing now just thinking about it,

Kids say the darndest things, always jumping straight to conclusions,

Just to let you know, I’m doing alright, got up to this point mostly intact, been some challenges along the way but everyone goes through that,

Taking it all one step at a time, it’s really the best that we can do, take your time, pay others no mind, it’s your own path, how it goes only you determine that,

Anyway, just the musings of a man taking a trip back in time, come to think of it, what do you suppose our fellow peers are up to?

Just something to reflect over during whatever downtime we can spare, which, in adulthood, is just so damn rare.

Dear Shorty, this is your inner-self talking, addressing you and others in our position,

You’re down about something, same old thing, trivial at first glance,

Takes one to know it first-hand, the lucky ones won’t understand,

Day after day waking and hoping you’d climbed a few rungs,

Plucked from the land of the vertically-challenged, from the jerks and their ceaseless trolling,

Sure, you’re in the mid-teens, still some years before those plates freeze,

Sadly, the genetics have the final say, but you’re counting on miracles anyway,

A genetic rebellion remains unlikely, gotta face facts, Buddy,

Ain’t no way will you play in the NBA, but keep that chin up, Son, everything will be ok.

Height, it’s a touchy subject, especially among dudes,

In matters of courting, a potential deal-breaker, it’s an unfortunate truth,

‘He’s a ten’, some are saying, ‘shame that he’s too short,’

God help you if you’re standing under six, can’t pass that trait over to her future kids,

Not much you can do about it, though, it’s beyond your control,

Pounds can melt, muscles gained, degrees earned and promotional ladders climbed,

But unless you come from a line of living skyscrapers you’ll remain a tiny little cabin,

Sorry to break it to ya, Mate, but neither of yours fit the description,

Ditto their folks and so on, a break in the pattern ain’t happening,

It sucks to be you, life is unfair, bet that’s what you’re thinking.

But while the frustration’s kinda understandable, you’re looking the fool by playing victim,

Can’t do nothing about it so why not instead aim to be more productive,

What you lack in height you can make up for in character and intelligence,

Carve your own glorious future, learn to win over others, watch that lack of height fade into irrelevance,

Peep at fellow manlets thriving like they’re big men on campus, got the girl, making bank, popular among peers, living like kings,

What were their excuses? Nothing, they rose above perceived limitations, defined their mission and their purpose then chipped away, moving mountains,

People are entitled to their preferences, you’re not made for everyone,

Doesn’t permit you to force or beg for their affections, people have a right to their standards,

Though there are the malicious and shallow, judging strictly on appearances and dimensions,

Won’t get anywhere with ‘em, they never deserved your time and energy anyway,

Kick them to the curb, make room for those that choose you,

The ones that’ll take you for all of you, those are your type of people.

The passing of time brings with it upgrades in technology,

Can now defy your genetics through science and manipulation,

Limb lengthening surgeries, once reserved for those imbalanced, becoming commonplace though no less pricey, will this cure your insecurities?

Guaranteed that bank account will suffer, procedure and airfares must be covered, more likely than not gotta head to another land, in the care of total strangers,

Prepare to have those legs broken, bits and pieces put in ya, designed to stretch those bones longer,

A lengthy recovery period awaits ya, any of that leave your stomach churning?

Sure you’ll be taller, but a price must be paid, long term effects could be debilitating, will you risk it just to be accepted by others?

Be your own authentic self, work on yourself daily,

Short king or victim, the choice is yours, clear as day which way is appealing,

Why get caught up in where you’re lacking, you still have much going for ya,

Go all-in with the cards you’re dealt, come out your shell and make friends, never know what or whom you’ll get,

Work at it daily and watch yourself evolve, grow in ways you never thought, your stature won’t matter anymore,

The world is still yours, King, but you gotta earn it if you want it,

Go fourth and conquer, one day you’ll be a giant among men.

Another hard day of grinding, the type Johnny and Paulie sang about,

Tired as a dog, just want to sleep like a log, but first gotta hit the road,

No mood for bullshit, just want to get by with no hassles,

‘Not today, Bud’, the universe had other ideas,

Fifteen minutes from home, fair bit of traffic, crossed that double-lane roundabout,

Some dude from the outer lane, don’t remember the make and model of his vehicle, just that it was a silver colour,

Slams into my passenger door, trying to turn right from the outside,

No way that’s happening without causing an accident,

Aimed to go home without incident, now additional chores need attending, to top it off my ride’s dented, got me mad as hell and fuming,

Pulled over to the side, ready to spew fire and brimstone,

Fists ready if need be, he’s about to cop it tenfold,

Stomped over to him as he exits his vehicle, came out with his hands up, these are the first words from out his mouth;

“I’m sorry, it was my fault, I’ll give you my details then call the cops,”

Just like that, all thoughts of vitriol and ass-whuppings extinguished, took down his details before asking if he’s injured,

Cops showed up, asked for both sides of the story, made notes of what’s necessary before dismissing us in a hurry,

The other player and me, shook hands and wished each other well, off he drove unaware that earlier yours truly thought of giving him hell,

Kind of amazing, the power of calmness and a few kind words,

Never thought it’d work, use it before resorting to violence, it’d make for a far better world,

Next time you get on the wrong foot, try to kill ‘em with kindness, let’s see what happens,

But if the desired effect ain’t happening, by all means, get ready to throw down like nobody’s business, you have a right to defend yourself if they swing first, just don’t go overboard with it.

HSC, three little letters inspiring horror and fear,

13 years of schooling led to this, can’t believe it’s almost here,

Been ups and downs over the years, sometimes sun, sometimes rain,

Kinda fitting that the final level would dish out the most pain,

That workload ever-increasing, showing no signs of ceasing,

Low-key feeling the pressure from the relos to pass with flying colors, it’s boom or bust the way they’re talking about it,

Like it’s do or die, that a piece of paper determines one’s fate,

No wonder some check out early when they fail to make the grade,

Time to get serious, though, need to start thinking about life on the other side,

This here’s the training ground, Kid, out there it’s real life,

Uni, TAFE or the workforce, the choice is yours to make, better make moves now, they’ll soon push you out the gate,

But let’s get back to the tale, shall we? Still plenty to unpack here,

Never had true allies in this place, just some guys that knew your name,

And even then, within their circle, found yourself constantly on the outs,

Left you high and dry when jerks came knocking, seemed to join in the hazing and finger pointing, until eventually you were left deserted,  

No safety in numbers, going it alone has consequences, what’s a boy to do?

Here’s a taste of real life, Dude, fend for yourself, that’s what grown folks do,

Home remains where the heart is, but even solid foundations chip now and then,

Got too much on that plate to take notice, hopeful, somehow, the structure won’t go collapsin’.

Lunchtime bell chimes, highlight of the day besides afternoon dismissal,

Over the terrain, monsoon-like conditions are finally tapering,

Teacher dismissed the class, handed out homework in the process,

Adding another cog to that never-ending carousel of assessment tasks and tests,

Our man packed his things then headed out the door, off to meet his chums for lunch, pick up on what they’d been chopping ‘bout before,

Stepped out onto the concrete, segued over to the grass to make way for on-comers, namely jocks, big enough to put him on his ass,

Bad move, Champ, wet soil and worn shoes are a deadly combination,

Our guy slipped into a seated position, from there kicking off epic humiliation,

That ass smeared with brown, stained much of his trousers,

All around him an orchestra of laughter, even from those checking on his welfare,

His stoicism intact he stands, his brown behind only adding fuel to the fire, the masses got something to laugh about over the next half-hour,

Luckily for him, he lived not too far away, simply ambled to the parking lot, fired up his ride, made the short drive to where he resides,

Changed pants before heading back, still with some time to spare,

Practically inhaled his food before the sound of the afternoon bell,

Back to class he went with the rest of his peers, time to smash the last two periods,

Had him a nice trip, certainly, but one that he’ll want to forget about in a hurry.

It’s been and done, ingrained into the minds of society now,

Seen it happen time and time again, the consequences common knowledge now,

Yet some blinded by ignorance, or perhaps bravado or indifference, to whom are we referring? Those hitting the bottle then they’re gunning it,

Countless stories year after year, boozers buzzing behind the wheel,

Spiritualised in ways not religious, rather, the type several bottles deep,

The outcome well known, twisted metal, mangled bodies, throw in a fire then explosion,

Culprit and victim splitting costs, ending up additional statistics,

The weight of guilt and trauma unbearable, ordered to do time for your errors provided you ain’t dead or invalid,

That’s a whole ‘nother prison, especially if your actions done killed another,

Why play Russian roulette when the odds are never in your favour?

No honor or glory gained for it, such acts only for fools and idiots, do the right thing and call you a cab, better yet bring you a sober pal,

Getting home intact rooted in luck than actual fact, more than likely you’ll end up in a crash,

If your ride ain’t halted first, prepare those excuses once the cops come for your license.

Here comes another, driving ‘round with precious cargo onboard,

Pulled up to the side of the road, little one snoozing up a storm,

Locked the door then walked into the store, fiending for ciggies and nothing more,

Sweltering outdoors but took the keys with ya, ain’t nobody stealing that ride and child from ya,

But as is always the case got side-tracked, rare are they that go in with no sudden additional plans,

Got the smokes and more to go with it, more than thirty minutes had elapsed,

Back to your ride you go, something doesn’t seem right,

Sensing no rhythm or movement from your little tyke,

Called the cops and medics, now your misjudgement belongs to the public, a crowd gathers, frantic scenes recorded on phones, made the rounds before the media got a hold,

Now you’re front-page news, the scourge of the masses, you left him to bake to death while you indulged your unhealthy habit,

Should have learned from those that walked before you, but instead you tried their shoes,

Good luck sleeping well at night, his face will haunt your dreams, your poor unfortunate child.

Kids enslaved by screens, apps a portal to another world,

Free to create their own imagined experiences, keep up with appearances, whether the genuine article or edited and filtered,

Oversharing an inevitable side-effect, winning friends and influencing but not quite how Carnegie scripted it,

Outdoing one another in ways mind-boggling and in some cases frightening to please faceless crowds not even worth mentioning,

‘Monkey see, monkey do’ seems to be the order of the day, peep at the risky games they play, common sense locked in the drawer then the keys thrown away,

Poking the Grim Reaper, trolling others, acting the fool just to please strangers,

Shenanigans involving gnarly substances, stunting with no safety equipment, striking a pose on spots precarious, whatever lights up their IG and twitter pages,

Dancing and acting the fool on that medium loved and loathed in equal measures, named after the sound made by clocks,

Sussed as a potential spying tool for the CCP but for the rest just another vehicle for ‘look at me!’

Dicing with death for the sake of chasing clout and thrills, no sane mind has time for this shit,

Some paying for it with their lives, talk about dumb ways to die,

That epitaph bound to be laughable, ‘here lies so-and-so, perished in ways unnecessary and avoidable,

How’s that for a legacy? A life of promise reduced to head shakes and mockery.

No doubt some of y’all be triggered, let’s throw you a bone,

Y’all be sharing the triumphs and struggles, no need to go through it all alone,

Built your own communities, albeit one detached from reality,

Can’t say such a life is healthy, it could cost you your sanity eventually,

Can’t paint all users with the same brush as all the fools and braggarts highlighted above,

There are those that promote goodness and encouragement, creativity and self-love,

Just a shame that loud mouths are drowning ‘em, it’s always the deplorable and ignorant,

No different than the real world where the smart are quiet while the stupid are confident,

By all means, live as you please, but do remember to touch grass now and then, get you some sunshine and fresh air, feel the wind in your hair,

Go for a walk, run or hike like a functioning human being,

Perhaps find a purpose and a calling, away from the world beyond that magnetic screen.

Comes down to choices, always has and always will,

Even when the fallout is no happy ending, only you have the final say on your destiny,

Can’t force others to go against their will, let ‘em find out the hard way,

No better teacher than experience, they’re asking for it, let ‘em pay,

Still, should’ve known better, been proven time and time again that certain acts have the possibility of a point of no return but still they can’t or won’t ever learn,

They say to take risks and push the envelope but never forget the limits,

What you get away with today might one day lead to your destruction.

They say happiness is an inside job, a state of mind and a daily choice to make,

So it makes sense, those claims that it’s folly to tie it to that which one has little to no say,

Easy to pin it onto others, places, things and accomplishments that add colour to one’s days,

But upon closer inspection seems like a dangerous game to play,

No matter where you’re at, whether flying high or struggling below, born into privilege or languishing in the struggle,

There’s much to be grateful for, happiness has a trigger, peep at your surroundings, delve into the attic,

If necessary take the initiative and go on searching, provided you’re prepared for serious grinding, good luck with the pursuit, hope you gets yours too.

“I’ll be happy if I get this or that, him or her”, the phrase been thrown around,

Likely had escaped your lips, nothing to hang your head about,

Delaying gratitude in ways misguided, going all in on what’s beyond control,

Odds of victory at fifty-fifty, most of life’s offerings temporary, why rely on uncertainties?

Why give your power onto others? You certain they won’t fumble that bag? They can prattle sweet nothings ‘til the sun is setting, they may jump ship and leave you wondering,

The one you run with, exchange rings with becomes the one you fight and disagree with, ride endless rollercoasters with, the one you go to the end with or part ways with, care to put all your eggs in that basket?

Maybe a certain status or place is the way to go, on paper looks a sure winner, but that’s provided you’re ready and willing to jump over inevitable hurdles,

Climb the ladder if you must, whether at play or at work, expand your horizons, go explore the world,

Happiness achieved, surely, but its staying power debatable,

Ever hear the saying ‘more money, more problems’? Fake friends, taxes, responsibilities and enemies? And suppose you came home full circle or found you a new setting, what happens when the honeymoon fades to oblivion?

Back to old familiar feelings of normalcy, what’s new becomes routine, hope you’d planned for the next one after your promised land becomes another beaten path,

Simply put the search is never-ending, a perpetual wild goose-chase straight to the grave, wear it as a badge of honor if you like, conditional happiness seems a waste of life,

And here’s a hard fact for ya, Playa, goals and dreams won’t always materialise,

What have you to fall back on if what you worked toward ain’t realised?

Forget about if and when, take a hard look at your now,

Surely you’ll mine from the rubble precious jewels worth grinning about,

Choice was always yours, might be difficult to wrap your head around but sit down for a minute, ask yourself the following now;

Got friends and fam that’ll ride and die for ya? A roof over your head and food on the table?

Ways and means to make a living, overcame battles that would have broken many others?

Can still laugh over the silly and absurd and get emotional over songs? Got access to clean air while your heart smiles at the sight of children, cats and dogs?

Got something to look forward to? Both short and long term?

If the answer’s ‘yes’ to a few then happiness becomes you, why keep yourself waiting?

If you’re lacking then by all means, leave that comfort zone and go on searching, whether or not you emerge victorious it won’t mean shit if you can’t appreciate the process,

No one said it would be easy, no walk in the park if it’s worthy,

Baptisms under fire are what breeds growth and development, can’t claim the prize without it,

But do take heart if it don’t work out, you still would’ve proven your mettle, you’re better now than when you started,

For those reading this, wondering ‘bout those from beginnings wretched, not blessed like the rest, due to circumstances that sent them to hell,

Two ways to go about it, rise up from the ashes or self-destruct, happiness a byproduct of the former while no explanation necessary for the other,

Choice is yours but if the latter prepare to work for it, don’t expect handouts or fair play because you drew the short straw from the first day,

A closed mouth won’t get fed and layabouts go nowhere, do away with entitlement, you don’t deserve what you don’t earn.

And if you, Dear Reader, are reading this right now, better crack one ear-to-ear now,

Woke to see another day, a clean slate on which to stamp your name, another step to take on your road to something great,

Count your blessings daily, happiness will follow, guaranteed,

Remember to savour the journey before you attain that which you seek,

Find the joy in your life, back yourself and to hell with the rest, you’re permitted to be your best self, the right ones will be with you to the end,

It ain’t no race, Kid, it was always a marathon, take your time then gun it ‘til the wheels fall off, the grand plan was staring at you all along.