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Eddie lay in bed, all ten years of age, waiting to drift away,

Recounting the day that was and like all young’uns looking forward to Saturday,

Eyelids feeling heavy now, the sweet embrace of sleep ‘bout to settle in,

Another school day comin’ up tomorrow morning, the interruption was most unwelcome,

In walked Momma, little brother Mario in tow, tears running down his face like he’d just seen a ghost,

Traumatized ‘bout a story teacher read to class, no blood or gore but nevertheless shook him to the core,

‘Can your lil’ brother sleep here tonight?’ asked Ma, ‘something teacher read to ‘im seemed to give him severe trauma,”

There was room for two but Eddie wasn’t having it, all that space taken by the little squirt, he wasn’t goin’ for it,

Then he took one look at Mario’s tears and wobbly mouth before he reluctantly relented,

‘Climb aboard, Bro,’ he invited, ‘but don’t take up space, you kick me once I’ma smack you in the face’,

Lil’ Bro complied and immediately latched on, pulled Big Bro into a tight embrace, that little kid sure is strong,

“Not so tight,” protested Eddie, “I can’t breathe!”

“But I’m scared,” answered Mario, “they’ll kill me in my dreams!”

Too sleepy to wrestle off the kid, got too much pride to tap out,

Then much to his frustration, Kid Brother was the first to go lights out,

How’s he off in Dreamland while his grip remains tight?

Eddie squirmed and shook but couldn’t shake him, try as he might,

Tempted to smack that lil’ fool but fearful of the repercussions, he’ll hear it loud and clear from the parents, little siblings are masters at dobbin’ and snitchin’,

Arms are feeling numb, that kid’s cuttin’ off circulation, gotta do something now ‘fore he runs out of oxygen,

He wriggled like a gator crushed by an anaconda, careful not to knock Mario and wake him,

Limited arm movement meant that legs did most of the heavy lifting,

Miraculously the snake loosened its grip, remained in a deep sleep,

Blood rushed back into Eddie’s limbs before leaving a feeling of needles and pins,

From there he finally drifted off, melatonin finally kicked in,

Another day ended, not quite as expected, gotta get up early to do it all again.

Picture this: Two or more kids are play-fighting or playing a rough sport together, one kid gets hit too hard and immediately, their mouth locks open, tears well up in their eyes and they begin a long, weepy, drawn out groan that gets louder and louder until their cries sound like the distress call of a wounded animal that had fallen into a ravine and broken its legs. Quick as a flash and with their once youthful boisterousness now turned into stone-cold horror and panic at the thought of being punished by the adult tasked with looking after them, the kid’s playmates do everything they can to placate the hurt child, apologizing profusely and gently trying to calm them down. When that plan fails they try to coerce their friend into shutting up and adding some empty threat of further bodily harm or stealing a prized possession for good measure. More often than not, though, the only real remedy to the problem is to let the poor kid cry it out until they’ve gotten over the pain – hopefully before the adult in charge catches them and then punishes them for acting the fool.

I’m fairly certain that everyone, as children, had been the hurt kid that cried bloody murder after sustaining a hard knock. Or perhaps they were the guilty child that tried to calm the crying kid down in a panic.
But more than likely, they’ve played both roles.
Me myself, there have been times where I shed a few tears as a kid after being socked too hard while roughhousing with my friends in the playground at school or with my cousins but I can’t say I reached in deep enough into my reservoir of emotions where I completely lost it and caused my playmates to scramble and attempt to shush me. I preferred instead to suppress any pain I felt so as not to give them the satisfaction of having reduced me to a crying, screaming mess though I did let a few tears fall. I mostly saved my emotions for losing while playing video games, missing out on a gaming session or whenever my favorite TV shows were cancelled.

Anyway, there is one particular memory from my childhood that comes to mind when I think about this scenario and on this particular day, I was the panicked kid trying to calm a friend down after our play-fighting went too far. It was lunchtime at school and me and my friend (let’s call him Mark) decided to fight like the characters from Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, despite the fact that his arm was encased in a sling due to an arm injury he had sustained after falling off his bed a few days earlier. It was the early 1990s and those two games were the talk of the gamer world and we were among those hooked. While I’ve stopped gaming a long time ago, I remain a fan of both series and still follow them to this day.
Common sense would have dictated that Mark should have kept his inner Ryu or Scorpion locked up tight but as a couple of eight-year olds neither him nor I had any semblance of caution and he was probably eager to prove that, even with a wounded wing, he could kick my ass.

It was on.

Ok, Bud. You asked for it.

He had a height and reach advantage over me but what he had in height he lacked in width and girth (he was rather lanky) and so as the shorter kid, I decided that the best way to combat his reach would be to get inside, rough him up and try to wrestle him to ground.
We started off feeling each other out, circling one another like a couple of young wolves preparing to duke it out for leadership of the pack. Mark made the first move as he lunged at me with his healthy arm in an attempt to jab me but I slipped over to the side and grabbed him and we ended up wrestling and grappling one another, trying to force the other to yield. He was coming at me with everything he could muster while I was nice enough hold back so as not to accidentally hurt the injured arm. The grappling ended up a stalemate and so we separated before going in for round two and somewhere in that second round our feet became entangled and we began to tumble towards the ground. I reflexively grabbed onto Mark’s bad arm on the way down and in doing so, accidentally jerked it hard as we both hit the ground with a thud.

We both sat up immediately and as I began to dust myself off and check for any cuts or scrapes, I snuck a quick peek at Mark. He was sitting where he had fallen and I watched as his face contorted and tears began to well up in his eyes.
This was not good.
Mark’s mouth quivered before opening wide to turn his whimpering into banshee-like screaming that threatened to alert any teachers on playground duty. Panic immediately set in and I tried to help Mark to his feet, attempting to grab the hand of his healthy arm but he wasn’t having any of it. He yanked his hand away, content to stay on the ground crying and show everyone what I had done to him even though he was a willing participant in the scuffle and was foolish enough to think he could fight while injured. I could only watch in disbelief as he continued to wail.

Man, shut the fuck up! You’re gonna get us both into trouble!

I knelt beside him and apologized, resisting the urge to place both hands over his mouth as he continued howling and sobbing hysterically while rubbing his bad arm.
‘I’m so sorry, man,’ I apologized, ‘I didn’t mean it, it was an accident.’
‘I wish you didn’t do that!’ he shot right back, ‘I think you made my arm worse!’
Well shit, it’s not like I ripped the fuckin’ limb off and more to the point, he should have known better. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Still, I did feel genuine remorse towards him, it sucks to hurt a friend no matter the circumstances.
Luckily, he calmed down after a few minutes of letting his emotions out and I gradually helped him up to his feet before we dusted the dirt off from our uniforms, breathing a sigh of relief that our little commotion didn’t alert a teacher or any other student wanting to play the snitch. Neither of us were the type to hold a grudge and once the adrenaline had calmed down and Mark’s tears had well and truly dried out we were all laughs and jokes again although round three would have to wait for another day. The rest of the day went by smoothly and by the end of it, our little tussle was ancient history.

Yeah, that’s one of the most vivid memories I have of long, agonized, screaming crying that comes with being hit too hard by a sibling or friend during mock-fighting, a staple of many funny childhood memories. Mark and I sadly went our separate ways following primary school and I haven’t seen or heard from him since, though I did reunite with a mutual friend of ours a few years ago (let’s call this friend Andy). It was during another friend’s bachelor party at a strip club and Andy happened to be one of the guests.
Of all the settings to run into an old friend, huh?
Anyway where was I?…..Ok, after the strippers at the club did their thing and they were in intermission, Andy told me – or rather, shouted at me over the loud music – that he, too, had lost touch with Mark but still got to see him get married and then become a father before they drifted apart.

‘Good for him,’ I thought. I was glad to know he got his own happy ending.

Mark and I probably wouldn’t even recognize each other now if we crossed paths and I’m sure he had long forgotten about that little scrap of ours from when we were a couple of rambunctious eight-year olds doing our best impersonations of Ken and Ryu and I unintentionally tugged on his injured arm and made him cry.

But I haven’t!

Listenin’ to the rain outside pourin’ as it hammers pitter-patterin’ over the ceilin’,

Blockin’ the wondrous stars everlastin’ as described by Banjo Paterson,

Reflectin’, meditatin’ and thinkin’ ‘bout the world that we’re livin’ in, Covid cases that keep on spikin’ and jumpin’,

Pandemic returned with a vengeance, reckless fools done wrecked it for others, had one job to do but got too damn complacent,

Second wave was expected, ain’t no vaccine or cure had been found yet, somewhat frustratin’ but don’t wanna get caught by this virus,

Wonderin’ if panic buyers are re-starting their engines, ready for a rematch at Woolworths, if the bored and famous are plannin’ an encore performance of a tune by John Lennon,

Protesters are still ragin’, Black Lives Matter they still chantin’, a whole nation’s divided, the fallout’s still persistin’,

Racists still blamin’ Asians for the virus, attackin’ frontliners handlin’ their business,

People still showin’ their true colors, it’s an ugly shade of twisted and fucked-up mixed with heavy doses of ignorance,

Sucks to live with a medical condition being forced back into isolation, ain’t whinin’ or complainin’ but it’s still kinda disheartenin’,

Good days and bad days are inevitable, just gotta keep the head above water, though some days feels like I’m treadin’, going under and drownin’,

But got too much pride for quittin’, gotta keep on goin’ and stay fightin’, often times optimistic I’m feelin’, just gotta count all of the blessings,

Ain’t starvin’ or homeless, still healthy and active, ain’t suffered severe losses and grievances, no point entertainin’ the beasts of anxiety and depression,

Gotta stay patiently waitin’, prepare for the moment that’s comin’, this storm’s just passin’, ain’t permanent, in tough times gotta choose a mindset that’s winnin’.

Going on three months in lockdown, virus is slowing but gotta stay cautious,
So near yet so far uncertainty overshadows the foreseeable future,
Led to a spontaneous combustion of emotions, that stove been left unattended,
Once that pot starts bubblin’ better brace for the explosion,
It’s tit for tat between world leaders like some twisted game of tennis,
While the bored and desperate go stir-crazy, sick of living like prisoners,
But spare a thought for victims of the fucked-up and the ignorant,
Mankind’s infected with serious shortcomings, twenty-twenty was a harsh reminder,
We’re talking ‘bout this evil thing called racism where differences in appearances trigger disturbances,
Should’ve been left in the dark ages but it’s persisting despite so-called progress,
Manifesting during times of trouble, bringing out the worst in others,
In this Brave New World two major events exposed peoples’ true colors,
The pandemic drew the bigoted from their caves like the proverbial moths to that flame,
While elsewhere the dam exploded and society’s drowning following another senseless killing.

Jacked-up on fear and substances, the ignorant blasting all Asians for this virus,
Flashed back to past outbreaks and plagues that saw different minorities blamed,
Check out ‘Frisco in the early nineteen-hundreds, Bubonic Plague saw the Chinese Exclusion Act strengthened,
Back to the present and Yellow Peril’s reincarnated,
Childish playground shit, all corners pointing fingers on certain students, no one gives a fuck, not even the teachers,
Cowards scared to swim deep so they stay in shallow waters, victims are prosecuted based on appearances,
The elderly abused and pushed around, young ones threatened and harassed,
Asian faces triggering frothing racists, even when they got that facemask strapped,
Yet sparing the full-grown and strong, saving hands, saliva and insults for the vulnerable and old,
Bullies duckin’ and dodgin’ the smoke, the cowardice is something to behold,
Scare tactics and fear mongering spreadin’, slapped onto store windows and news headlines,
While Donnie and his homies are slingin’ comments that are inflammatory and asinine,
Peep at how they reportin’ on this virus, Asian faces splashed on screens and newspapers,
Treating ‘em like Emmanuel Goldstein, Is it coincidence or they stokin’ emotions?
There’s a Cold War between nations over who’s responsible yet the spread was a global team effort,
Doctors from ground zero silenced by communists but their warnings went unheeded until after that virus ran rampant,
Open your damn eyes and minds, take a look around and stop the hate,
Y’all fools are part of the problem and not the solution, that virus don’t discriminate.

Elsewhere in the Divided States, different day but the same old bullshit,
Emancipation should’ve ended it but oppression went another direction,
Demonizing ‘em with harmful stereotypes, denying ‘em privileges that others take for granted,
Slapping ‘em with stiffer sentences for serious charges while lighter offenders can get off with something lesser,
The police swore an oath to serve and protect, for some that should’ve come with a fuckin’ asterisk,
Where in the handbook does it permit y’all to stop, harass and search ‘em for no reason besides skin color?
And if arrest is warranted why are y’all roughing ‘em and killing ‘em even if they ain’t resisting?
Not hating on all carrying badges, the majority perform their duties admirably,
But when bad seeds get away with bad deeds the masses ain’t gonna take it lightly,
Thinking ‘bout Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and other victims of this one-sidedness,
Black kids can’t play cops and robbers without being mistaken for the latter,
The system’s broken, simmering tensions and frustration are a toxic combination,
The fallout is gnarly, shades of Watts and L.A. in ’65 and ’92, respectively,
But don’t get ‘em twisted, protestors ain’t rioters,
But they’re omitted from the TV news ‘cuz chaos guarantees more ratings and views,
Looters come in all races but selective editing focus on darker faces like they dictating who to blame for this,
But ya gotta wonder who’s in it for the mission or just taking advantage of the situation,
How’s robbing and looting helping while the economy’s struggling?
Y’all are harming the innocent, wrecking businesses owned by they whose lives need defending,
How’s two wrongs gonna equal solution? What good will come from this destruction? Can’t condone these fuckin’ riots, y’all went too far with this,
But the rage is understandable, been four hundred-plus yet the bullshit’s still happening,
They’re crying ‘All Lives Matter’ with conviction but some lives remain disposable,
‘Riots are the language of the unheard’ quoted Dr. King, but also noted they’re self-defeatin’,
Gotta be exhausting explaining to your children the dangers they’ll be facing due to their darker complexion,
Open your damn eyes, stop, think and open your minds and stop the hate,
Look beyond colors and quit judging, ‘cuz underneath we all bleed the same.

On and on it goes this twisted, toxic mindset,
Arabs slammed by the masses for every terrorist incident since nine-eleven like they as a collective started ‘em,
Labeled as troublemakers like black men in America, media hysteria helped fuel that skirmish in Cronulla,
Hispanics dismissed as gangsters, drug dealers and illegals with falsified papers, so vociferous are Don and his rabid supporters,
Africans in China attacked as virus carriers while the world slaps Asians with similar accusations,
Could go on and on with examples and all races are susceptible,
That includes White folks, deemed the face of the human race blessed with special privileges,
But you’d be naïve to believe that it can’t also be a hindrance,
Can’t offer certain opinions without being labeled ignorant and entitled,
Can’t act or dress in certain ways without staring misappropriation charges in the face, 
Condemnation awaits if they attack other races but flip the script barely an eyebrow’s raised,
Met with cynicism in the realms of ballin’, fightin’ and rappin’, privilege sure has failed ‘em,
Twenty deep in the third millennium but fools remain wandering in the desert,
At the mercy of the vultures, the powers that be that should’ve known better.

Heard it all before, excuses from the judgmental and bigoted, flipping faster than Greg Louganis whenever they’re confronted,
‘I got a spouse or friend’ from whatever race or culture they’re hatin’, nobody’s buying it,  you never should have started,
‘I don’t feel comfortable with ‘em,’ bullshit, harden up and get to know ‘em rather than jumping to conclusions,
‘They’re all the same,’ says you, your prejudice serves  to generalize and defame, Fool,
A global utopia remains a pipe dream, as elusive as Lasseter’s Reef,
The curse is deeply rooted, survived for so long probably won’t fade into oblivion,
Not all are open to education, can’t wait for ‘em forever and nothing comes out of coercion,
They are beyond your control, it’s better to start small when it comes to long-term goals,
Work on yourself first to help heal this world,
Put an end to prejudice and embrace one another’s differences,
Hatred is learned behavior, teach children love in addition to reading, writing and proper manners,
The world has enough bullies so don’t you go planting seeds,
If All Lives Matter then it’s about time we lived it, no more unequal distributions of justice,
Quit blaming others for the sins of the stupid, spare your wrath for the culprits that deserve it,
Ignore the irresponsible unless you want to join the foolish and gullible, stereotypes and propaganda are a rotten motherfucker,
To the racist and bigoted, it’s high time y’all changed your ways,
They’re in disarray, enslavin’ you to acts of hate as you stay choking on those chains,
Open your damn eyes and stop the hate, strip away race, cultures and backgrounds we’re all the same,
We’re all part of the human race, the sooner it sinks can real changes take place.

Alarm rings, fumbled for it in pitch black,
Early wake-ups are no fun but gotta get an early jump before the sun’s up,
Grip’s still sleeping, phone seems slicker than oil as it slips onto the mattress,
Blind instinct takes over from eyes still unadjusted to the darkness,
Trudging to the bathroom, splashed cold water on these craggy features,
Ray of light bouncin’ off the mirror, reflection within got you squirmin’,
This old vessel’s sailed one too many voyages, the wear and tear’s evident,
The ocean once seemed endless, now the port’s visible in the distance,  
Hit you like a gut shot from Tyson, hourglass was tricklin’ now it’s pourin’,
Yearning for a breather, just want to hit the pause button,
Or at least get back on play, someone stop fuckin’ with the fast-forward,
Your hands must be numb, can’t feel the remote that you’re controllin’,
Hit pause then rewind, zip back to years long gone,
You are the captain of this ship, only you alone can right the wrongs.

Through the eyes of innocence the world’s a magical place,
Surroundings seemed straight out of sci-fi, the concrete jungle with tall buildings stretching sky-high,
Mountains and fields were straight out of picture books that Teacher read to the class in between grinding hard for a piece of paper that said you passed,
Lived in dreary suburbia, for you it was utopia, away from the confines of school fun times lasted forever,
But time was ever-present, worked in silence and prowling unnoticed,
Revving up slowly, creepin’ like a predator that you never saw coming,
Took off like Roadrunner, Wile E. didn’t have a prayer,
Now you’re grown up and bewildered trying to keep it all together,
Seen enough of this world, curiosity faded from your make-up,
Know-how and wisdom co-existing with stress and anxiety plus a decline in physicality,
Terrible teens and roaring twenties they quickly came and went,
Past the point of quarter-life crisis, not quite ready for mid-life, greying strands suggest you’re drifting from life’s morning and closer to night,
Panicked tunes are ringing, on loop the crescendo’s rising,
Countdown’s on, time to leave this hole in which you’re slowly decomposing.

Different day, same shit, nothing new, same tired fucking routine,
Get up and work, go home and sleep, eat, rest and move in between,
Runnin’ ragged on that treadmill but circumstances can’t bear the full brunt,
You were given legs and free will at birth but you stay put like a horse stuck in mud,
You used to be so brazen, bold, daring and resilient as a street urchin,
Climbed up the highest slides in the playground, beat your chest like you were King Kong, slid down on your belly, hands first like Superman towards the sand box,
Graduated to hormone-fuelled hedonism a decade later, fooled with the opposite gender while trying different substances,
Made it out alive, the scars and stories remain, younger generations can’t accuse you of being lame,
It was various escapades twenty-four-seven, you could’ve been the spawn of Hunter S. Thompson,
Motley Crue would’ve saluted you, childhood buds idolized you and in adulthood they still do,
But they’d surely be disappointed at what had become of you,
The animal that they knew, it’s unrecognizable as you’re wasting away like some lifeless fool,
Slavin’ for bread, kissing ass to eat at the table, talk about misguided servitude, you played yourself like a fiddle,
Wanna slow time? View the world once more through a child’s eyes,
Keep searching and learning, your mind’s been softening for a long while,
Spice things up, expand that memory bank, muscles can plateau without switching up training plans,
Kids give everything a shot, passed or failed before moving onto something different,
Just like pint-sized Marco Polos they are always down for exploring,
Grown-ups are shackled by fear and bullshit rules, customs and expectations in their damn minds, kids take on all comers fearlessly, even if they might stumble and fall a few times.

Scrap that daily routine, be like Jordan and slam dunk it into the trash,
Rearrange or start fresh, pop that neuralizer like they do in Men In Black.
Travel and see the world, talk to strangers and get to know ‘em,
Swap stories like soldiers on break, you just might find a few kindred spirits,
Learn a new language, that would surely expand that cranium,
Test yourself in a new setting, enjoy it even if you can only remember how to order chicken,
Not ready to go big? That’s cool, little steps are better than zero,
Still beats putting up with monotony and coming full circle in a hurry,
Read a new book, listen to new tunes, give that hair a new do,
Send that dominant hand on vacation and give its lazy co-worker a promotion,
Begin again and keep evolving, keep that body and mind challenged,
Be curious and live forever young, add more years and enjoy it,
‘Cuz ain’t nothing scarier than regret, that window’s limited no matter how wide it’s opened,
The past is gone, the future ain’t promised, start today and get right on it,
That ship will reach port to send you to the next level, can’t duck and dodge it forever, it’s inevitable,
Aim to stand tall at the pearly gates to proudly declare that you’d earned it.