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You were Pops’ oldest sibling and the one assigned to be my God parent,

I was aware of your presence on the family tree but interactions before elementary remained kinda fuzzy,

Met you for the first time five years after we’d migrated, I was eleven and English had become my first language,

Unrecognisable, maybe, from the kid you once knew, and the language barrier was a minor issue,

Back then you seemed kinda strict, not the type to be trifled with,

A veteran in the field of parenting, seen and heard every excuse and act of mischief,

Yet beneath it all lay a core of warmth and you were generous to a tee,

Granted us lodgings whenever we visited, unfazed about additional mouths to feed,

Cooked us meals during morning, day and night while attending to daily life,

Taking care of Grandma and running the home and family business, tell us, Ninang, how’d you ever do it?

Encountered obstacles growing up yet you knocked ‘em all, no wonder Pops spoke of you in reverential tones,

Clearly admired his big sister, the one who soldiered on even when the years took their toll.

Reunited five years later, another trip home in my mid-teens,

Your façade softened slightly, the disciplinarian replaced by one more grandmotherly,

Yet your generosity remained intact, the passage of time ain’t diluting that,

Still didn’t suffer fools, though, the grandkids found out fast!

I remembered the trip’s conclusion, you and Grandma shed tears,

Wondering, maybe, when we’ll return if ever, no such thing as guarantees,

We’d meet again, Ninang, but not until thirteen years,

Had plenty of growing to do, conquered school and university then joined the workforce, too,

A family reunion was on, 100 years since grandpa was born,

Grandma had passed, me and the grandkids had all grown,

You’d reached septuagenarian status then but remained sharp mentally,

Another surprise lay in store for me, that you’d learned a bit of English,

Also cooked up a generous serve of the dish that pops said I liked best,

Widened our lines of communication and kept me well-fed, tell me, what’d I do to deserve it?

Getting up in age but you remained and elite-level hostess, keeping us housed and comfortable while still maintaining the family business,

Travelled back two years later, this time for Grandma’s 100^th

Glad to have spent additional time with you as you traversed through life’s sunset,

Another teary good-bye followed, perhaps more painful than the others,

The years are adding up, time’s forever marching.

Hoped to meet again, that was the plan anyway,

Caught up in life and ambitions, a health scare the icing on the cake,

Fate intervened just when it seemed all was in the clear,

Borders locked up by Covid 19, brought the entire world to its knees,

The beast still out there though significantly weakened, progress made in subtle ways but can’t be hasty when reopening,

Prayed for your continued good health, another meeting was way past due,

Then heard from folks back home, some not-so-great news,

The Lord had started calling, you delayed the inevitable for a time,

Before you earned your wings then ascended towards the sky.

But while we mourn your passing there’s a sense of comfort over the end of your suffering,

That it’s a beautiful world up there to where you are going,

It’s a testament to the way you’d lived, that your deeds would not be soon forgotten,

The kids and grandkids, they are missing you, the next generation, too, are missing you,

Rest In Peace, Ninang, it was your time to go,

Though face-to-face was limited, your love I’ll always remember it, glad it was you whom Mom and Pops chose,

Maybe we can chop it up sometime, catch up like we should have years before,

In a manner with no barriers, for now fly high and soar, happily up there with the Lord.

Woke up nice and early, around seven in the morning,

Dusk has settled, here comes the sun, it’s slowly rising,

Stretched out the limbs, grinning from ear-to-ear,

That time of the week again, five days later it’s finally here,

Went through the day’s itinerary, mentally, lots of fun to be had, naturally,

Looking forward to parking in front of a screen, controller in hand,

You might call it boring, lame and uninteresting, but for yours truly it’s a recipe for a perfect weekend,

Messing ‘round with Little Sis and watching some tube, washing away the nasty aftertaste of school,

Typical weekend for nine-year old me, don’t mind staying here forever, where life is simple and carefree,

Then it hits like a Mike Tyson uppercut, the sudden realisation,

Jumped the gun three days too early, Hump Day’s just beginning,

Plans for a day of leisure canned, just like that, still got three days of hard graft, that’s just the facts,

Up and at ‘em, Lad, time to go to school,

Off to the showers then, feeling like a prized fool.

HERE’S JOHNNY!

Catchphrase coined by Nicholson in The Shining, can’t believe he ad-libbed it,

Spoke volumes of his genius as a thespian but that ain’t what we’re looking at,

Happened to be sampled into some dance track back in ‘96, Hocus Pocus made a killing as it lit up clubs, pubs, amusement parks and roller skating rinks,

Speaking of which, your boy right here was quite the beast in them blades,

Early-day wobbles were inevitable, but with practice and persistence wheeled around for days,

Still swimming and practicing karate, achieved green belt status with the latter,

Though time brought about waning interests that had me looking towards greener pastures,

Same could be said of cartoons once enjoyed in early youth, double-digits bringing changes in tastes,

Still retaining the spirit of a gamer, some habits won’t be abandoned in haste,

Music also invading personal interests, the seeds done been planted,

Gonna take some time, though, before the trees grow and blossom.

HERE’S JOHNNY!

Eleventh year on the planet wasn’t half-bad,

Sure, it had its moments, but overall it truly kicked ass,

Learned about The Goldrush at school, the good, bad and the ugly,

Culminated in a field trip to Bathurst, panned for gold but great rewards remained pure fantasy,

Lunchtime hijinks with the boys, playing soccer at the park,

Why they kept putting me as goalie is a mystery, clearly I was nothing short of sucky,

Learned the Macarena as part of the curriculum, not sure for what reason,

To keep us active, I guess, and at least it got us out the classroom,

Tamagotchi craze was on, virtual pets got kids fretting,

Served as class distractions back then like how social media is in the present,

Video gaming sessions on Friday and weekend afternoons were highlights every week,

Mulling over it in class, daily, got me drifting into daydreams,

Even that aspect of life evolved, out with the PC and onto the SNES,

Graphics were sick for its time, now guaranteed to be outdated as hell,

Took some time to watch the Olympic games on TV, two weeks in all,

Remaining oblivious to the magnitude of it all, though felt good whenever our nation won gold.

HERE’S JOHNNY!

Also celebrated a friend’s birthday at Intensity,

Had a great time though admittedly that one almost slipped out of memory,

Took a trip back to the motherland, five years after migrating Down Under,

Keen to experience it as a pre-teen, hopped on the plane fit to burst like a fire cracker,

Reunited with extended fam, even some I ain’t met before,

Jolibee never tasted so good, oh what fun it was to explore,

Shame about the language barrier, Tagalog wiped by five years living overseas,

Felt like an alien in my own birthplace, triggering confusion over true identities,

The heat was a motherfucker, don’t recall it being this hot,

All in all it was fun times, always a thrill to travel abroad.

HERE’S JOHNNY!

Took a beach trip with friends and fam, frolicked in the waves,

Still time to kill in the afternoon, plenty of time to strap on the blades,

Gliding across concrete following a refreshing swim,

Can’t compare to gaming but all in all a great time, still,

Still took the occasional trips to Wonderland despite interests dipping,

The thrill of it somehow fading, gaps between visits widening,

Growing pains evident, subtle spurts of the not-so-flattering kind,

Voice remained Minnie Mouse-like, body looking as though fuelled by pork rinds,

I’m talking round gut and little boy-titties, so much for the swimming and karate,

How the fuck did we get here? Just five years prior was praying mantis-skinny,

Looking back twenty-plus years later had a sudden realisation,

The page was slowly turning, teen years beckoned, gonna be a hell of a transition,

One year ago was carefree as could be, how can one year make a difference?

It’s still out there in the distance but nevertheless felt its imminence,

This year then the next before childhood’s end,

Gotta make the most of it, it’s rough and choppy seas ahead.

Here we go again, you’re huffing mad and triggered again,

Over something innocuous, just a couple doing things, still got your noggin steamin’,

He came straight out of a Disney film, the one that gets the princess in the end,

She shared your physical characteristics, their very presence sent you spinning right ‘round the bend,

Your id racing into overdrive, powering the darkest corners of your mind,

Staring at ‘em bitterly, hurling assumptions telephatically, same recycled labels that you play with on the daily,

That he’s led by his fetish, that she’s only after his money, that he’s a creep and a pervert, that she’s drowning in self-hatred,

The media did you dirty, apparently, that’s why she and others like her run towards westerners,

Stereotyping killed your chances, mocked dudes like you for your faces, speech patterns and the size of certain appendages,

From there it’s a slippery slope says you, now all other females are swerving you and your brothers,

It’s a whole new level of rejection, a special type of betrayal,

Castrated by media and popular opinion, cucked by the female of your species,

On some level your resentment’s understandable but truthfully you’re your own worst enemy,

If your assumptions are legit then others like you ain’t shit,

Surprise surprise, many are flying with a co-pilot and some are even swirling,

It’s not just luck and they ain’t the exception, don’t overlook the power of self-confidence,

So much for that crutch you’re carrying, that they with a fairer complexion are stealing all your women,

Ever checked the mirror lately? Therein lies the first of your problems,

When’s the last time you took a shower? You look more doughboy than Adonis,

Electricity bill must be poppin’, total screen time surpassing epic proportions,

What’s it like living on instant noddles? Sleeping less than 2 hours?

Who the fuck are you to demand their time and attention when you ain’t putting in the effort?

Miss ‘em with your entitlement, a one-sided union ain’t worth exploring,

No wonder you ain’t getting any, you need to re-evaluate your priorities,

Sit down, we ain’t done yet, time to hit you with a brutal dose of reality.

Females ain’t checking for an angry lonely man, that’s just real spit,

Got one life to live, Bro, how do you plan on spending it?

While you’re judging and pointing fingers your hypocrisy’s lighting countless embers,

You’re making mad incel losers of yourself and your fellow brothers,

It’s ironic how you rail at being mocked, judged and stereotyped while doing the same to girls and the types of guys they like,

You don’t know their story, not that it’s any of your concern,

Some might corroborate your bullshit accusations, but for the most part they just happen to meet, fall in love and exchange ‘I do’s’ at a park, beach or the altar,

What of girls that are faithful for lack of a better term? Will you lump ‘em with so-called self-haters?

Bet you will anyway, that stems from your defeatist attitude and lack of self-awareness,

And what of the dudes that look like you who are winning, could’ve been held back by the same labels that are haunting ya,

They weren’t hearing it, they defied it, went about their business and came up triumphant,

You could learn something from ‘em rather than mope around dragging leg irons,

You won’t achieve catch of the day status while voluntarily trapped in your self-imposed prison,

Focus on your own damn grass and quit peeking into other peoples’ yards,

Don’t like the hand that which you’d been dealt? Quit bitching and change the motherfucking cards,

And if she ain’t feeling ya due to shallow and prejudiced reasons, forget her and move on, there’s plenty of fish in the ocean,

Each individual is entitled to their choice of partners and yes, you’re included,

You too can be a baller, but there’s only one way to achieve it,

Work on your damn self and polish your game, nothing good comes out of entitlement,

Might have to grind harder than others but suck it up and get on with it,

Acquire new skills, set some goals, improve your vocabulary, fix your habits and be healthy, no rush just move along steadily,

No one said you had to openly compete with others, eyes down and focus on your business, tell ‘em via the noise generated from your successes,

Then before you know it you’re turning heads, what once held you back rendered inconsequential,

Here’s where you’re rewarded for rising above limitations and labels,

Feels good to be with someone with whom you’re compatible, doesn’t it? To go through life with no limits or excuses, never mind needless burdens,

To hell with circumstances and fuck the rules, a better life is waiting,

The sky’s the limit, level up and watch your story unfold as you want it.

In ’92 your journey began in a new land,

Settled Down Under for a better life with the fam,

Understandably daunting, all this is brand new,

Folks here look different from the ones that you knew,

Taller and different shades in terms of hair and complexion,

Speech patterns are different, as are the accents,

Language barrier ain’t helping, adding only to first day jitters,

Straight to first grade with limited communication, much to the other kids’ amusement,

ESL fixed you up in a hurry, by mid-year achieved fluency,

Aided by various cartoons that you were glued to on the daily,

All but promoted to citizen from foreigner, read a story to the class to mark the occasion,

Where The Wild Things Are to this day remains a story sentimental,

Began an interest in reading and writing, storytelling was where it’s at, 

Numerous awards earned from the teacher, made up for your weaknesses in science and in math,

Gradually loosened up, made some friends at school, enough to run into strife every once in a while, excessive chit-chat’s against the rules,

Visited a place called Wonderland for the first time, call it your local Disneyland,

No Mickey or Minnie in this pad, all ‘bout Fred Flintstone and his pals, but still lots of fun to be had,

They had a dinosaur exhibition on, triggering endless fascination,

Tastes in film, TV and books did it influence, while other boys geeked over cars, trucks, superheroes and even earth-moving equipment,

Cousin turned you onto gaming, you took to it like a duck to water,

Every weekend killed many hours on ‘em, sometimes bordering on obsession,

Might have been confusing times, plenty of changes dumped on such a young child,

But you look back on it with fondness for a reason, in many ways ‘92 was your life’s very foundation.

Fast forward to the next decade, year two of the new millennium,

Wonderland running on fumes, gonna be shut in a year or two,

Perfect analogy there for your present state of mind,

Late teens brought challenges of the draining kind,

The innocence of childhood gone, life took the kid gloves off,

The cheery kid had left the building, in his place a teen exasperated,

Angst and confusion strikes all teens, from physical appearance to thoughts on the future,

School-related pressures, changing dynamics with the parents, even those with the opposite gender,

It’s a tough place, that bridge between child and adulthood, can make and break an individual, some end up suicidal, wanna get off the carousel for good,

The magic that you took from gaming withering like a flame in the wind,

Music filled the void, mind’s thoughts expressed through punk and emo shit,

Round the clock bullying thrown in for good measure, let’s not forget friends’ betrayals,

Anger towards peers threatening to boil over, it’s a miracle you ain’t turned into a school shooter,

The world’s a cold and dark place, trust can easily be misplaced,

It’s sad, really, the thoughts of a young man in eleventh grade.

Skipping over now to the end of days according to the Mayan Calendar,

No clear threats to our existence, eight years later gonna feel something close to it,

By now made 27 trips around the sun, twenty years since grade one,

The happy kid begat a depressed teen that grew into a jaded adult pushing 30,

Last decade was a rollercoaster, so many ups and downs,

High school finished, university done and dusted, breakdowns in the personal life, definitely walked through your share of fires,

Disillusioned with the world and most folks in it, met one too many wolves in sheep’s clothing,

‘Fuck the world’ became a hidden mantra, stayed loyal to friends and fam while low-key seething in front of strangers,

Joined the ranks as an employee, making decent money, working out replaced the gaming, the body once-doughy ripped and strong like Bruce Lee’s,

Which brings us to the turning point, another life-changer was waiting ‘round the corner,

A martial art called wing chun, fit you like a tailored suit from day one,

No room for brute strength in this jawn, gotta stay relaxed but keep the form strong,

Previous understandings ‘bout hand-to-hand combat obliterated, life’s about new learning experiences,

Turned out to be the perfect tonic, the best thing that ever happened,

Found your tribe, finally, first true friends you had since elementary,

At first felt socially awkward like a wanderer traipsin’ ‘round the wilderness,

Shook off the rust rather quickly, soon you’re chopping shit up with ‘em regularly,

Reconnected, too, with an old high school buddy, got to know his pals and his lady, added ‘em to your circle of homies,

Went from being a hermit to Mr. Social in an instant, call it your own personal redemption,

Flirted with personal training, took the steps required for qualification,

Finished in a few months, studied the human body, psychology and such,

Soon further changes are happening, years’-old wounds finally healing,

Been a surly recluse since high school graduation, by year’s end the walls had collapsed around the fortress,

Still keeping the population at a distance, though, it’s baby steps through which we’re moving,

Still an achievement to have broke the shackles that you’d long been burdened with,

Ten years almost wasted but better late than never, though your ankles are calloused your heart’s been somewhat softened.

Up and up from there, one good year after another,

The puzzle pieces finally fell into place, felt as though you’d achieved a happily ever after,

Working arrangements took on a nomadic turn, we’re living in changing times,

Gig arrangements are in, jobs exported overseas, others taken over by A.I,

Five years later still at the Wing Chun Academy, worked your way up to Instructor eventually,

Once on the other side of warm-downs, now you’re the one leaving ‘em heaving and wheezing,

Took a cruise to New Zealand, just another of your many recent trips overseas,

Still hangin’ and chillin’ with your homies, all in all life seems pretty sweet,

Worked at three different firms, still making bank despite ever-changing scenarios,

All the while personal training on the side, the hustle’s hard but learned to embrace the chaos,

Half a decade after the turning point, felt like life would be rosy going forward,

But all good things must end, what comes up must go down, another big challenge seemed in order…

Which now brings us back into the present, it’s been quite a ride,

Many more mountains to climb, more chapters to write,

Five, ten, twenty and thirty years came and went so fast,

Before you know it you’re at the sunset, ready to rest at last,

What happens now ‘til then is entirely up to you,

It’s your journey and no one else’s, set your own timeframe and rules,

That dream run in the 2010s ended abruptly, in 2018 a new challenger stepped up to the fore,

Could have kept you on your knees had you not rallied like never before,

Seemed like the path smoothed out again but sadly not to be,

Reaching deeper into its bag of tricks, fate threw the world into a tizzy,

The new decade wasn’t some new Roaring Twenties, Covid played party pooper,

Now here we are, three years and counting and no closer to a solution,

Gotta soldier on anyway, if it’s worth fighting for gonna find a way,

Nothing to be gained from quitting, small steps eventually lead to big dividends,

You’re all grown up but went through different phases along the journey,

Be not ashamed of ‘em, personal evolution is an inevitability,

The happy kid and angsty teenager, sullen young man, desk jockey and would-be personal trainer,

The martial artist and aspiring writer, who knows what other hats you’ll wear in the future?

Got a long life still, ample time to set and knock down goals,

The ride ain’t over yet, Kiddo, grab that bull by the horns.